YOU THERE! Are you a 6-year-old child? Reading this from the late ’80s? Or taking part in a The Sweetest Thing style movie montage that heavily references Madonna and maybe Olivia Newton-John’s Let Get Physical video?
Then take that damn scrunchie out of your hair and come join the grown-ups in the 21st century.
And while you’re at it, lose the dungarees.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I have a low tolerance threshold for frankly ridiculous trend revivals, and the long-threatened scrunchie comeback is just that. No, it doesn’t matter if it’s being worn ironically by the cool kids: irony is something that really doesn’t translate well through the medium of hair accessories and the wearer still looks like they’ve taken a wrong turn at 1989.
And wearing a scrunchie in earnest, well, there’s just no need. Since elastic ribbon-style hair ties, a.k.a. Twistbands (they’re deadly, Claire’s Accessories have them for pennies) hit the mainstream, the excuse that scrunchies are the only thing that won’t leave a kink in the hair after it’s been tied up really doesn’t hold water.
The scrunchie has a whole new legion of fans, though, and not all of them are former US Secretaries Of State. Prompted by this Stylist feature, last week my Twitter feed was full of scrunchie love from a generation who don’t remember the sartorial horrors of the ’80s and think they’re rocking the look.
… and now. The expressions on the faces of Stylist’s beauty team say it all, really
Assuming the look they’re going for is Bridget Jones meets Paula Abdul at the 1990s Grammys, I suppose the cool kids are right.
They own that shizz.
The bottom line, ladies, is that elasticated fabric doughnuts look good on nobody.
And if anyone can provide photographic evidence to the contrary, I’ll happily eat one.