Detox diets and the lure of the quick fix

By Aisling | January 3 2012 | 24 Comments

Jared Leto before detox (right).  Know how he feels

And as surely as night follows day, New Year purging follows Christmas bingeing.  In our hurry to lose the Tin of Roses related poundage we often grab whatever seems quick and easy.  Sluggish and bloated: the thought of a detox and the flushing away of all the assorted grams of fat and alcohol and replacing it with a pure clean system sounds so appealing

  1. The sad fact is that most commercial detox products that you’ll buy in the chemist are either crap (as in they don’t work) or actually crap (as in that’s what you’ll be doing  frequently when you’re on them.  Most are full of laxatives).
  2. Master Cleanse/ Maple Sugar Diet / Lemonade Diet
     Popularised by Beyonce who lost 20lbs on it for her part in Dreamgirls (read her experiences here in my exclusive interview with her) it seems that everyone’s tried this diet.  At least once.  Myself I lasted til tea time the day I tried it.
    But Jared Leto lasted a little longer than me.  Using this drink and a combination of raw foods he managed to lose the 62lbs he had piled on for his role as John Lennons killer in the film Chapter 27.  Both the putting on of so much weight and the losing of it were severe – more than a few mince pies went into the piling on of so much weight.  He stuffed his face with pizza, cheese and even resorted to microwaving tubs of ice cream so he could add oil to them before drinking to make the ice cream even more calorific.  Yuckarama.
  3. Pu erh tea
    We went crazy for pur eh tea  when Posh Spice popularised it a few years back.  But it will turn your teeth black and tastes like fish so we soon gave it up.  Variations of this drink still abound and we’ve got a great review of one of these Chinese weightloss teas coming up tomorrow – and exactly the effects it will have on you.
  4. Green, Matcha and White Tea
    Drinking anything full of antioxidants that delivers plenty of water into the system is always good. Take a look at this review
  5. Supplements
    Again beware of anything screaming “DETOX” on the box and mentally substitute this word with LAXATIVE .  But some supplements are fairly harmless and may help you out in your detox quest.  Try some Ayuverdic magic.  I’m drinking a cup of Liquorice tea as I type, I love it
  6. Detox Foot patches
    Please don’t waste your money.  In the beginning we were fooled too, but there is no way you can detox through your feet.  Sweat turns the pads a different colour during the night, not the magic power of the pad drawing toxins out of the body.  Here’s the stringent testing we put this product through 

So are you embarking on a detox this January – or are you just thinking “nah I’ll just go back to eating normally, drink more water and eat more fruit and veg”.  Discuss!

image via skynet

Diet & Wellbeing , , , ,

24 Replies to "Detox diets and the lure of the quick fix"

  • RiRi says:

    No Detox for me, I just think that eating healthy (lots of greens) and and drinking lots of water will get rid of toxins, for me it does anyway. I didnt gain any weight during Christmas I was very good with eating and I hate Roses chocolates anyways so I didnt eat much chocolate.

  • Kirstie says:

    I’m going back to my ways of small meals, trying not to snack and drinking lots of water. I er, hope. Would like to knock another couple of stone off this year.

  • Pinkpanther says:

    I didn’t have trifle for breakfast today and I haven’t drank for about 36 hours. That’s already a HUGE improvement on the past few weeks. Might also attempt some exercise tonight…

  • Kirstie says:

    mm trifle for breakfast!

  • ainerose says:

    You don’t need to detoxify, that’s what your liver is for!
    Defo of the thought that eating better and exercise is grand, no need to waste money on detox stuff. Also yoga is Fab for digestion!

  • Aisling says:

    Pinkpanther – sounds like the detox is complete to me!

  • Kirstie says:

    poor liver. I wish I could give it a pat and tell it I appreciate its support.

  • Kitty In The City says:

    No more Christmas cake for breakfast, ate the last of it yesterday. Today I finished the last mince pie, without the pastry, so that was just fruit!

    No, no such thing as a quick fix. Lots of water. I did buy some milk thistle yesterday though, and was told cranberry tablets are good too.

    I thought that was Elton John in the pic on the right.

  • Trixie says:

    Haven’t started the diet yet as I have a work dinner tonight and will rely on a few glasses of wine to get me through.
    However my fail-safe plan (and this doesn’t suit everyone) is to eat my main meal at lunch time and then just soup in the evenings. You have more time to burn off your main meal and I swear by it.
    I’ll also lay off the bread, no drink during the week and a small bit of walking. Good luck all :)

  • missyL says:

    ive been bloated for about a week now – obviously from rich and bad food… but jeez im struggling to get rid of it – i look pregnant!
    any tips?

  • ceci says:

    Trixie, I agree with the main meal at lunch theory. I find by the time I get home if I make and eat a big meal it just sits there til I go to bed.

    I’ll be trying to eat healthier, drink water and try get into daily yoga.

  • Acat says:

    I will be doing a normal detox. Loads of exercise, loads of water. No alcohol (for the month of Jan. No tea or fizzy drinks. Chocolate as a treat not as a food group and cut down on processed crap. Wil be drinking a load of cranberry juice. Had soup for lunch and have a massive full of veg spag bol for supper. I didn’t put on any weight over xmas but I feel wrecked, my skin is grey and im breaking out a bit.

  • Aisling says:

    MissyL – people gave loads of tips in the comments of this post

  • Parsnip says:

    I’ve substituted my cups of coffee during the day with hot water and a slice of lemon. It works wonders as a) it basically water b) the water is hot. I’m terrible at drinking cold water, but I’ll chug down the hot water and c) I still get to do the whole getting up from my desk for 5 mins to get a cup. There is also the whole psycological aspect of having the cup on your desk and lifting it to your mouth. I’ve also reverted to having fresh stir-fried veg for dinner. Yum!

  • Sabrina says:

    Kitty in the city, I’m glad i’m not the only one who was eating Christmas cake at breakfast (for 2wks). For years I tried most diets/tea’s/suppliments, most of them are total bulls**t, i lost some weight but nothing to write home about. I’m going back to my normal routine, eating little and often, 5-6 small meals a day. Plenty of low fat smoothies and no points soup. Need to drop this muffin top asap.

  • MsSitting says:

    Sabrina and KITC – I too ate Christmas cake for breakfast, but I have to add that I mince pies too. I’m very sad to say goodbye to this period of indulgence.

  • rosie ribbons says:

    Pinkpanther and KITC – trifle and christmas cake for breakfast – i laughed out loud as much out of relief as anything else – thank god i’m not alone! And there is so much ‘stuff’ left in fridge and cupboards to be eaten still. I’d love to learn to make healthy smoothies but haven’t a clue where to start.

  • Sabrina says:

    rosie ribbons, put half a glass of water into your blender, chop in an Apple with a fist full of fresh or frozen Raspberries and Strawberries, 2-3 tablespoons of low fat yogurt and 1 or 2 ice cubes. If you feel it needs a bit more water to help it blend then go for it, i burnt out my blender last year by putting too little water/juice. Hope that helps x

  • jenny says:

    Pinkpanther, melikey your stylee! Ha ha!

  • Could I point out, please that Jared Leto was 40 on Stephen’s Day -FORTY!!!

    For my detox I’m joining a rock band and consistently wearing an Arabian scarf & Ray Bans. That should do it.

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