Trends come, trends go. I make a particular note of keeping watch of them and while we’ve got great big macro trends like organics and mineral makeup dominating the beauty industry, there are also many tiny, micro trends that pop up for a month or even just a week: mint nails, tribal-syle body art and mad Countess Markievicz hair are three recent weeny fads we’ve taken a look at.
One that’s taken on cockroach-like permanence has been the gra for feline eyes. Boy, has it lasted. And lasted. Through season after season - and literally through thick and thin - we’ve seen some variation (letterbox liner, anyone?) on the cat flick now for several years. In beauty terms, this basically means that you’ve been drawing liner above your lashes since the cosmetics world was united as one in a smushed-up eyeshadow and lipstick version of Pan(stick)gea.
Will it ever fall out of fashion? I’m not so sure - so we better have a poll. Pick your pref, and spill your liner-beans in the comments. Is it here to stay?
So tell us, if you stopped thinking about what’s on your list to buy for others and thought only about yourself for a while, which beauty products would you like to find in your stocking on Christmas morning?
And maybe if we’re all really, really good, Santa will be good to us in return!
Now as soon as I see something like this proclaiming that it’s really really good value and has 36 eyeshadows, blushers, lipsticks and foundations and contains “trendy colours”, alarm bells start to ring. Especially when that set costs ELEVEN EURO!
Is it just me though? Oh readers am I alone in my cynicism?
It’s enough to make you go cold with shock. The above Manchester calin slapped a dose of Boots hair dye into her gruaig and woke up in the morning with chemical burns on her face so bad she had to be treated in hospital.
Hair dye burns do happen - and that’s why we’re always being exhorted to take a patch test before applying any home colour. But if you’re like me then you’ll gaily think to yourself - “Oh there’s no need for me to do that silly patch test, I’ll be grand.”
But even if you haven’t been sensitive to a hair dye before, you can become so. Just like that.
When Christian Louboutin said Barbie had fat ankles all hell broke loose.
In the process of designing shoes for the new Barbie Doll Lauboutin commented unfavourably about her ankle proportions. He quickly denied it, but it was too late. A matter of such seriousness cannot be simply swept under the carpet.
Feminists were outraged. Barbie fans were outraged. Tubby people were outraged. Skinnies were outraged. In short the world found the pronouncement outrageous.
Barbie is no stranger to size battles. For years the plastic one has been subject to an inferno of debate about how her blonde and skinny proportions are unrealistic and place unfair expectations on women at their most vulnerable age.
Vanessa ‘Joe le Taxi’ Paradis is not only the proud owner of one Johnny Depp, esq, she’s also lent her face and figure to Chanel’s Cambon handbags and their Coco perfume in the past, forging a relationship with the brand that’s lasted since 1992.
Now the lucky wagon has been named as the face of a new range of Chanel lipsticks, Rouge Coco de Chanel, which will debut next year, and which I think, to be fair, is just one piece of good fortune too far for one woman.
So here’s the dilemma and it’s a bit of a daddy-or-chips one. I’m playing God and I’m saying Vanessa can only have one of the above. So put yourselves in her shoes and choose, girls. Johnny or Coco?
Alakazam! By the power of your mind alone you WILL go from a B to a DD cup!
Yes hypnosis can make your boobs grow, didn’t you know? And there’s a plethora of mind benders willing to sell you CDs and give you “advice” over the Internet to make it happen for you. Why it sounds so simple.
One such site claims that: All the genetic and environmental factors that influenced the growth of your breasts are also part of the blueprint your hold in your subconscious mind. With the help of hypnosis you can effortlessly change this blueprint. You can impress the image of the breasts you desire upon your subconscious and watch your breasts gradually become just the way you want them.
So in other words - all that happened when you were growing up was not longing for big huge baps hard enough. You must now unlock the power of your subconscious by buying subliminal CDs and they’ll start to grow again. Bingo.
Now I’ll OMG with the best of them (totally ironic roysh), but when I heard about boob hypnosis there really was only one succinct summation of my thoughts and that was of course: FFS.
I’m not a huge fan of Interweb type abbreviations but I can see that they have their uses. Narrowly missing out on a highly prized LOL tshirt at the Web Awards on Saturday, Rick kindly threw me a ROTFL emblazoned one instead. Hurrah!
So now tell us. Are you tempted to start growing big bosoms through mind power - or are you thinking FFS
They’re everywhere aren’t they? And I’ve noticed that everyone was so enthusiastic about using them… at first.
But soon people began to complain. “The gel makes food taste terrible” i.e. when you use the gel and then pick up a sandwich. And “My hands feel dry from constant use”
And lastly, with no sign of the predicted pandemic on the horizon: “This is a pain in the arse isn’t it?”
But tell us: how are you finding the hand cleansing. Are you using the gel dispensers that are stationed absolutely everywhere, like a good citizen?
I know that Daniel Craig in contemplative pouty mode or action man pouty mode or emerging from the sea in little blue hotpants pouty mode are images that many Beaut.ies hold close to their hearts. They are images that make the Daniel fans among us go a bit weak at the knees and maybe use slooooow playback mode for that emerging from the sea scene.
One image that I reckon we won’t be clinging on to too strongly is Daniel Craig with some… um, interesting facial decoration. His upper lip has, of late, been sporting a wiry-looking bum fluff moustache that I for one am not finding appealling in the slightest.
Wella Trend Vision is upcoming on the 5th of October and oh boy but do I love me a hairdressing competition. Always OTT (as they should be - who’d fancy judging someone’s perming skills, eh?), getting a room full of competitive hairdressers together means the air sparks with more than mere static, so it should be a good night out. 26 Irish salons are represented across colour and young talent categories, and we got a few preview pix of ten of the finalists.
Competition hairstyles are couture creations: you might not want to rock any of these looks yourself, but they’ve been designed by their creators to showcase their creative, cutting and colour abilities.
My money’s on the Zoo offering at number one. This is Shay Dempsey’s salon and he spends a lot of cash supporting his staff in their endeavours and it shows - hair comps are expensive for salons to enter (Trend Vision allocates a significant proportion of points to overall presentation which includes clothes) and the ones that have the bux tend to do well. I also really like the offering from Edge Creative at number two - it’s pretty, beautifully coloured and really wearable.
Cast your votes on the looks you like in the (multichoice) poll!
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