Now we all know that mens razors are the shizz. They’re cheaper than ours, they have dozens of blades and they’re magic on the old legaroonys. But why does he go so mad if they’re used to shave a bit of fanny fur or stop an underarm forest from poking out of our cap sleeves?
Here Fergal explains exactly why!
The advertisements for mens razors are funnily enough aimed at men. They show the man in front of the mirror, his sharp razor gliding, easily down his face. Unobstructed, not snagging, removing hair as easy as a hot knife through butter. The man, pats his freshly shaven face with a white towel and smiles at his reflection. This is how, all men would like their shaving experience to be. But in reality and with a little bit of interference from the opposite sex, it doesn’t always work out this way.
Ladies have a tendency to borrow their mans razor and this is what happens as a direct result. The unsuspecting man smears his face with shaving foam, he reaches for his razor and there it is, gone. The search doesn’t take particularly long, the missing razor is located in the shower or the bath. It looks the same, it feels the same but there is a distinct difference from when he last used it.
It is as blunt as a comment from his mother-in-law.
The blade slides down his face, scuffing his skin as it goes. It’s like chalk on a freshly washed blackboard. Unlike in the advertisement, one pass with the blade is not enough. He must return, over and over, pulling the stubble from his face, leaving the skin, red and torn. After painfully removing the last bits of resisting hair, he looks at his reflection, his face raw red and covered with fresh nicks. He pats his face with the white towel to soak away the blood. He splashes aftershave on and vows to hide his razor for ever more as the pain of the aftershave hitting the cuts begins to take full affect. He leaves the bathroom with his face littered with those most attractive pieces of toilet paper.
Ladies, the above scene is the result your harmless borrowing of our razors. Our sleek manly razors are not meant to cut long leg hairs, underarm hairs and certainly not any other hair you can think of. They give mens razors manly names like Mach and Fusion for a reason, because they are meant for men. Women have their own range, believe it or not? With girly names, like Venus, which sounds out of this world.
Men would really appreciate it, if you could stick with your own products, you wouldn’t share a toothbrush, now would you? So when you see the ad and it says, ‘the best a man can get’, they are saying that for a reason.
There are certain things that a couple should never share. A mans razor is just one of those, and it’s very close to the top of list. So ladies, do us a favour and get your own, it’s as simple as that, to be blunt (see what I did there).
Men are from Mars and women should use a Venus.
Whoa! VERY harsh words! Would you never dream of using your fella’s razor – or do you think that anything left at the side of the shower is fair game and up for grabs?