Kardashians and Scary Santy: Welcome to the World of Awkward Family Christmas Photos

By Kitty | December 5 2013 | 13 Comments

This year’s Kardashian Christmas Card (or should that be Khristmas Kard?) has finally been unleashed on the world and it’s a thing of glossy, demented beauty.

kardashians

It features a post-apocalyptic scene that looks like Vegas laid to waste by the Kardashian Kollective, with Bruce Jenner trapped in a glass tube, because why the hell not, accompanied by a backdrop of Illuminati symbols and pictures of Kim’s lovely face.

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It makes little to no sense but it’s a lot of fun to look at, so in a way it actually suits them perfectly.

However, when it comes to memorable Christmas portraits, Kim & Ko. have absolutely nothing on the denizens of Awkward Family Photos.

Shall we take a look?

onesie-santa

Ah, the onesie. While it’s undoubtedly cute and perfectly acceptable for a baby to wear one in a studio portrait, for the parents it’s…not so much. Even the baby’s sassy pose isn’t enough to rescue this photo.

There are few things funnier than pictures of children looking terrified while sitting on Santa’s lap. This might make me a terrible person, but that’s just the truth of it. Also, in fairness, that’s a pretty amazing Santa. Look at his lovely, real, snowy-white beard and truly jolly face! What does this kid WANT?

Nightmare-Before-Christmas

This Santa however, is the stuff of nightmares. It’s fine, I wasn’t planning on ever sleeping again anyway.

pvc-dog

On one hand, kudos to this lady for scoring herself a much younger man. And hey, who DOESN’T have a saucy Santa dress lying around at home? But is your family Christmas portrait really the time to bust out the skintight PVC sex-clothes and garter? Really?

The couple in the next picture look so utterly delighted with themselves, I almost don’t want to make fun of them. Almost. In fact, I’ve just remembered that I Photoshopped mine and the Bear’s heads onto theirs a few years ago and stuck it on Facebook for the craic, but there’s just no beating the excitement on that guy’s face.

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I think this particular photo wins the title of Most Awkward Family Photo Of All Time. Nicely decorated Christmas tree in the background? Check! Smiling daughters in matching festive pyjamas? Check! Parents also in matching pyjamas? Che…… OH WHY GOD WHY.

And finally, a little girl who knows exactly what the true meaning of Christmas is.

1682111-poster-1280-1-awkward-family-photos-christmas-style

And that’s pinning your siblings to the ground with your hand on their face, while you take their presents as they helplessly flail around on the carpet. God bless us, every one!

Have you ever done the family Christmas card thing? And what do you think of the Kardashian effort this year? To the comments!

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13 Replies to "Kardashians and Scary Santy: Welcome to the World of Awkward Family Christmas Photos"

  • EvieM says:

    That last photo made me snort in a crowded cafe =D

  • Praxis says:

    Oh me too, I’ve just laughed out loud at that last one. Ad so true to life

  • pinkelephantbloggin.com (alex) says:

    Hahahaha!! Brilliant! But that santi really is terribly creepy!!

    http://pinkelephantbloggin.com/

  • Kittykat says:

    hee hee, hilarious.
    The matching pj’s one is class.
    The son bought me a book last xmas entitled most awkward family portraits – heelarious.
    No, we’ve never done the family xmas card thing, though thinking on it I’ve a photo at home with me aged 22 and the son aged 1 sitting on Santas lap – yes, both of us !!!!! Its a lovely photo – in fact I may frame that this xmas !
    I do know people (not naming any names lol) who would get off on doing the xmas card photo thing lol

  • Shygirl says:

    These are all hilarious.

  • Andrea says:

    The man with no top on surrounded by the pyjama’d ladies.
    WellholyMarymotheraGod.

  • Karen (Beating Myself Into a Dress) says:

    No have never done the Christmas card thing, it’s very American I think? Do Irish people really do it? I’d be scarlet. “Hey relatives, who I know, here’s a picture of me in a jumper smiling like a loon. Merry Christmas!!” I think my relatives would be like ‘Er, we know what you look like, why do we need a pic of you on the front of the card, you weirdo!’

    What do people be thinking like? Yer wan in the garter, like lovely kids and lovely family but why are you wearing a garter? It’s CHristmas, not your honeymoon night?!

  • Kittykat says:

    Kitty, you bet your life there are. I have a couple of cousins and friends who would love the chance to do this if their Facebook pages are anything to go by !

  • Em says:

    Ah the Christmas spirit, just like that Cliff Richard song. How does it go again? “Christmas time, mistletoe and Bruce Jenner trapped in a glass tube…”

    Oh wait..that doesn’t seem right.

  • Therese says:

    At this stage you just have to wonder what is WRONG with the Kardashians?! I mean, Christ on a bike!!

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