While watching The Hobbit during the week (it’s brilliant, by the way) it was impossible not to notice that there were some really very good looking characters in it. I’d find myself admiring their handsome faces or rugged beards, but then every so often we’d be reminded that these sexy characters are around three feet tall, which put a bit of a dampner on proceedings.
For example, Martin Freeman, lovely Tim from The Office, charming Watson from Sherlock, looks great in The Hobbit. I’m entirely on board with the tousled hair, the waistcoats, the endearing grin, but then we get to the feet. The hobbit feet. And the fact that he barely comes up to Gandalf’s elbow.
The dwarves were another cause for crush confusion for me. Tolkien dwarves aren’t supposed to be sexy, but dear God when you’ve got Richard Armitage and Aidan Turner smouldering up a storm, battering goblins with an axe and looking decidedly more Aragorn than Gimli, what else are we supposed to think?
This brings me to the question, would you go out with someone shorter than you? At the risk of sounding like a shallow wagon, I don’t think I could. I once went on a date with a guy who turned out to be at least a foot shorter than me, which pretty much did away with any chance of a second date as soon as I confirmed that he was actually just small and not far away. Having assumed for years that Jason Statham was a towering, ridey tree of a man, he was ruined for me the day I discovered that at 5’9, he’s the same height as me. And that just won’t do. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to break it to him.
So tell me, is height a factor for you when it comes to fancying someone? And could you overlook massive hairy hobbit feet in the name of true love?