Need advice? The Ask Assumpta line is open!

The wisdom of the Irish mammy IS actually wisdom. Damn!

By Anna | June 15 2012 | 64 Comments

The dishwasher

When I was a kid, certain phrases would always send me into a rage, or at least a state of mild annoyance. Phrases like “Hunger is good sauce!” Or “Take that coat off now or you won’t feel the benefit!” Or (possibly the one that annoyed me and my three sisters the most), “We don’t need a dishwasher, we’ve got you four dishwashers!”

Ho ho ho.

Yes, like most Irish Mammies (and indeed most international mammies) my mother had her little catchphrases that never failed to irritate her children. The hunger one always annoyed me a lot.  Clearly, hunger was not good sauce, especially when it was supposed to enhance a dinner I didn’t like anyway. I didn’t enjoy liver and bacon just because I hadn’t been allowed to have some toast an hour earlier. And who was she to tell me to take a coat off? I’d take my coat off when I felt like it, thanks very much! And as for the “hilarious” dishwasher remark…well, she clearly meant it, because as soon as my sisters and I grew up and moved out, my parents finally did get a dishwasher. An electric one, I might add, not, like, a human slave.

I’ve taken it off! I’VE TAKEN IT OFF! *slams door, flounces up stairs to bedroom*

Yes, much as I loved (and still love) my mother, she had a habit of saying things that did my head in. And of course, as a kid, I vowed that words like “hunger is good sauce” would never pass my lips. And yet, over the years, something terrible has happened.I’ve found myself telling my husband not to raid the fridge before dinner, because “hunger is good sauce”. I take my toddler nephew’s hoodie off when I take him back to his house, so he’ll ” feel the benefit” when we go out again. It’s mostly a joke, of course. But still.

I COULD have fitted in some toast!  I could!

Somewhere deep in my heart, I think I might actually mean it. Like Winston Smith at the tragic end of Big Brother (book, not TV show), my spirit has been broken. And now I really do believe hunger is good sauce. And  that if I don’t take all my outer layers off as soon as I go indoors, I really won’t feel the benefit when I go outside again. It’s probably a good thing my husband and I don’t have kids because doubtless I’d soon be making “hilarious” jokes about getting rid of the dishwasher.

So am I alone in absorbing Irish Mammy-ism by osmosis? What words of mammy-ish wisdom do you find yourself repeating now you’re grown up? And when you do find yourself telling a grown man or woman that “hunger is good sauce”, are you horrified or proud that you’ve inherited your mammy’s sayings?

Friends & Family , , ,
 

64 Replies to "The wisdom of the Irish mammy IS actually wisdom. Damn!"

  • “That skirt would sit better if you were wearing a slip”. SHE WAS RIGHT.

    Reply
  • Aisling

    “Wear a scarf or you’ll catch your death. You can’t be going out with your chest bared like that”

    Reply
  • My mother always spoke really well and pronounced her words without an accent, now when i hear my kids speaking in a really boggerish way, i find myself correcting them in the exact same way my mother always did to us, i’m turning into my mother aaaaahahhhh

    Also when we were really acting up and messing and laughing, she would say “Thats a real crying laugh”, in other words she meant if you all don’t stop messing now i’ll get the wooden spoon out and then you will be crying,

    I have so many that i just can’t think of, but gonna wrack my brains for some more

    Reply
  • Aisling

    Oh God! The wooden spoon! Usually it was “The wooden spoon will be out when your father comes home if you don’t stop this carry on now!”

    We would briefly pause in our killings of one another then.

    Reply
  • Lift your feet, your eyes are bigger than your belly, there has to be so many more. Which I now use for my boys. Oh, you’ll be better before you’re twice married!

    Reply
  • Sudocream cream n salt water cures everything is my mothers favourite bitta wisdom !!!… I have a rash/spot/bite/burn mam “ah put a bitta sudocream on it be gone in a day or to”… Killer of a sore throat mam “gargle salt water that wil sort ya out” and If salt water n sudocream fails “take a disprin” !!!

    Reply
  • Aisling, I actually can’t leave the house without a scarf these days.. I heard it so much when I was younger that I will always run back for a scarf.. even on the sunniest of days!

    Reply
  • Mum: Is THAT what you’re wearing?
    Me: Yeah what’s wrong with it?
    Mum: Oh nothing….. it’s just a bit “clingy”

    *Cue me running back to my room to change*

    Reply
  • Is that rain? Jeeeeesus Chrissssttttt….

    Runs out to the clothes line!

    Reply
  • “Wait until your father gets home”
    “Laughing always turns to crying”
    “Pull down your top and pull up your trousers”
    I often catch myself saying some of my Mums phrases, I used to hate it but now I am happy to slowly turn into her, she is an inspiration to me xx

    Reply
  • Aisling

    Hahah Disprin was the cure for everything!

    Reply
  • “Once is funny, twice is silly, and three times is a smacked bottom!”

    This was apparently a favourite phrase of my grandad’s when my mum was little: I have a very clear memory of being told this when I’d spent about twenty minutes giggling about the fact that the word “shampoo” included the word “poo”, and trying to get my mother to join the hilarity. But it’s relevant in so many situations! I’m almost tempted to get pregnant purely to pass it on.

    Reply
  • Oh, and if I see someone whose top doesn’t meet their trousers at the back, I still worry that they’ll get a chill in their kidneys. I’ve never met anyone who’s actually had a chill in their kidneys, mind, but I’ve met an awful lot of people who absolutely believe it’s a real thing.

    Reply
  • It’s only when you grow up and get a home of your own that you realise that your Ma and Da were right.

    I’ve turned into my Da. Turning off radiators, turning down the thermostate. Gesturing wildly at my husband if he stays on the phone for longer than six minutes. Mouthing ‘we don’t work for Telecom Eireann’ at him.

    It’s true though. If you turn down your thermostat and turn off a few rads, your bills will be lower. If you have short phonecalls or use Skype/Facebook/Whatever, your bills will be lower.

    Keeping a coat on indoors will make you sweat. When you go out into the cold then, that sweat will cool, making you feel chilly. And a bit damp. It’s true!!

    Hunger IS great sauce. When you’re rushing in from work and have to go out to a college course in 15 minutes, and you’re starving. Well, you’ll shove any oul sandwich into your mouth to keep you going, won’t you?

    Mammy advice, much as I hate to admit it, is true.

    And honestly, if there are any young ones reading, sex really IS better with someone you love.

    Reply
  • Makeupglitz we must be sisters!! my mam thinks sudocream, salt water and TCP can cure anything and everything! swear to god if i broke my leg she would tell me to put sudocreme on it. The gas thing – i’ve a giant tub of it in the bathroom myself.
    The salt water and tcp works but only because its so eye wateringly minging that you are so busy trying not to puke that you forget how sore your throat was
    I was also frequently told I was short because I wouldnt eat my dinner. I went through my teenage years thinging fecks sake why didnt I just horse down the liver and shepards pie i could have been cindy crawford size not hobbit size.

    Reply
  • I find myself saying my mothers catchphrases to my kids, despite myself.
    “This is not a restaurant” – when there are requests for specific foods for dinner.

    “I only have 2 hands”

    “You’ll be laughing on the other side of your face when it goes wrong”

    “Money doesn’t grow on trees”

    etc etc. there are many many more!

    Reply
  • Me as a child: Mam, what am I getting for my birthday?

    Mam: A doll, a drum, a kick in the bum and a chase around the table!

    OR

    Me as a child: Maaaam, I can’t find my (random object), where is it?

    Mam: Swinging out of my lip shouting “Tarzan!”

    Ah mammies. Sure they’re gas.

    Reply
  • Don’t sit on the cold ground/wall you’ll get a kidney infection. WTF!

    Reply
  • “You’ll be better before you’re twice married!” Used to hear that all the time when I was small. I said it to my husband the other day and he’s still looking at me funny, he’d never heard it before!

    Reply
  • Every time we’d leave the house my mam would say ‘have you got all your wants?’.
    My sister & I use it all the time now :)

    Reply
  • I often text my sister to advise her that ‘there’s great drying out today’. snigger snigger at mam over the washing line.

    I tell my nieces to get up off the ground becasue she’ll get piles, her response was the exact same as mine as a kid – piles of what???

    When Little doll is refusing food, I tell her about all the starving children in Africa.(not that she can even understand yet!!)

    Yeah – all very funny till someone looses an eye!!

    And pretty much all of the above.

    @Karen (beating herself into a dress) my husband has turned into his dad also, turning off rads, closing doors, turning off lights, he even timed me in the shower and asked if it was really necessary for me to spend 8 minutes in there, and how we’ll know all about it when we have to start paying for water charges!!!

    Reply
  • Every morning when she woke me for school she used to say “uppy”! As in “get up”!! It drove me bonkers!! Do I say it now…? Course I bleedin do. Feckin uppy. My Nan used to say “wisht them legs” when any of us grandkids were doing anything but sitting quietly.

    Reply
  • “Dry up” meant shut up.. “I am not the irish washer woman” when you didnt wear a top for a week running.. in relation to a jacket that didnt cover your bum, “there’d be about as much heat in that as an envelope” Great drying / airing out today!! so so so many.. And yes like many of you, I do hear myself saying them to my son and husband!!

    Reply
  • Kitty, we heard the “doll and drum” business too! Though I think that came from my dad’s side of the family.

    And Mary, you are so right about those words being relevant to much of life. True words of wisdom. The kidney business, not so much (my mam used to say that too).

    Reply
  • My mother lived in constant fear of sitting in a draft because drafts can cause things that even sudocrem cant fix!As a child I never felt drafts,now they are everywhere and I always move out of them,just in case.As for going to bed with wet hair,don’t risk it people,it will cause brain damage.A particular gem of hers,used on an hourly basis when we were children,was to tell us that she didn’t care who started it,we would all be punished.I find myself saying this to my own children,it’s easier than spending ages finding out who the perp was!!

    Reply
  • Also, I have no idea why I wrote “Big Brother” instead of “1984″ in my post. Perhaps too much of my brain has been taken up by mammy-ish words of wisdom. Sure you wouldn’t notice it from the back of a trotting horse anyway.

    Reply
  • After years or denial, I finally realised I’ve turned into my mother when I used the teaspoon I stirred my tea with to eat a slice of apple tart to “save on washing up”… and yes, we do have an (electric) dishwasher!

    Next I’ll be rubbing butter on my bruises…

    Reply
  • I used to get hit with the Irish ones, the Ulster ones (Ye’ve a face like a fir’s hatchet so you do), the Jewish ones (which as it eventuated used to feature a LOT of bad language in Yiddish) and French ones too. And that was before my Da came home and chipped in with his Kiwi-isms. I use ‘em all on my daughter! She says she’s never having kids.

    Reply
  • Aisling

    Oh yeah we had all the Northern ones too – Beaut.ie Mammy is Norn Iron. “I didn’t come up the Bann in a bubble” was a favourite and I do find myself saying that. My husband is a true Dub and he can’t understand some of my expressions – they’re the ones I picked up. Osmosis Anna, you’re right

    Reply
  • “Sure, who’ll be looking at you?”

    I STILL get this one when I leave the house, if I’m flapping about how I look. Even if I just glance in the mirror. Nothing like a swift kick in the confidence nads before you head out the door.

    And it’s from a bloody man! An Irish Mannie?

    I love giving the starving kids in Africa line to children. I wanted to say it to the little girl who’s blogging about her school lunches in Scotland, but I fear the gentle jokey manner would be misconstrued as vile cyber bullying.

    Reply
  • I say “we’ll see” a lot these days. And as I always suspected it means “no, but I don’t want to say so yet.”

    Reply
  • My mum always had a huge thing about clothes being aired. Youd leave a pair of jeans in the laundry basket on Monday and you’d be lucky to get them by the following week. They would be washed, hung on the line and then left on a radiator for a few days( we had a tumble dryer but it was just for show really!) it used to drive me mad… I thought she was a nutter.alas, I have now become that nutter, although rather than the radiator I use the dryer. I drive me husband mad. When he gets dressed I always run my hand accoss his top and jeans to make sure they are properly aired( there’s also the bonus of a good grope too!). Wouldn’t want him to get a cold in his kidneys!

    Reply
  • My brother used to have a great comeback to my mum when she started on about the starving children in Africa

    My mum would be saying – now eat that pork chop and apple sauce – there’s plenty of starving little boys in Africa who’d be delighted to have that dinner

    His reply? – Name one and he can have it!

    Reply
  • My mum is obsessed with the immersion. She’ll call me when she leaves the house to double check it’s off and now the immersion paranoia has rubbed off on me. Also if you take something from the hot press there’s the “that’s damp, no it’s not” saga……

    Reply
  • Didn’t understand the chill in your kidneys thing, till I wore a short jacket out one year with my Dad and sister to watch Paticks day fireworks at night. Had my first, and most excruciating, experience of a UTI/kidney infection. I now always check that coats will cover that vital area.

    Mentioned the pain of them recently to my Mam and she advised: “You have to avoid alcohol, sex, and tea – sure you may as well be dead!” True wisdom.

    Reply
  • Found myself talking about the starving kids in Africa the other day :( 8 yr old’s response? “Sure mam, we sponsor a goat in Africa, so I don’t feel tooo guilty about it”

    Reply
  • My Mam’s cures for everything-put your knees up & have a bath.

    Dadism- “Close the doors we don’t own the poolbeg” & when questioning having the IMMERSION on for more than 10 minutes as you “only need an eggcup full of water for a shower”

    Reply
  • The ‘cold in your kidneys’ one was standard, also ‘you won’t be laughing when someone loses an eye’ or my favourite’don’t come running crying to me when ye fall and break your leg’..which confused me from an early age…… ‘don’t sit so close to the telly, you’ll ruin your eyes!’..ironically, we are all extremely short sighted, which was probably the reason for sitting so close and ‘ are you dyin’? cos we are only going to the doctor if you are’ when we didn’t want to go to school if feeling sick.. Have not startedusing them all yet, but feel like their day is coming………also ‘sure there is a grand stretch in the evenings now’ which I now use!

    Reply
  • I think my mother has used most of the above sayings and like most Irish mammies loves sudocream for every ailment!! But the saying I associate with my mother will always be “what’s for you, won’t go past you”!! I don’t know how many times when I felt the world was ending because of some boy or exam results and she’d pull out that line! At the time I always thought…what would you know and now looking back she was right!!

    Reply
  • So many…
    “I feel it in my waters”, is one that normally provokes much hilarity. If you are looking for the weather to improve and see a patch of blue sky the mammy would always ask “is it enough to patch a sailors pants?”….. Hit the hubs with this the other day without even realising I was saying it and he just liked at me like I had finally lost it…

    Reply
  • “Its not a fecking fashion parade your going to” i got this if I was trying to find an outfit / do my hair / fix make up

    “you will catch your death of cold” – I haven’t the heart to tell her that I still don’t bother drying my hair before leaving the house and Im still alive :)

    “we’ll see” – The answer is no but I am not going to tell you no because I still want to use the potential as a bribe for good behaviour

    “those magazines are disgraceful” – everytime I turned up with a copy of sugar / bliss just 17 magazine

    “put some sudocreme on it” – general answer for cuts / bruises / spots even headaches (haven’t quite worked out how that works yet)

    “I swear to god you would think you were born in a barn” this was parroted whenever I left a door open and my reply of ‘what harm so was jesus’ wasnt appreciated. Its funny as my other half goes mad at me for the same thing

    “You will ruin your eyesight” – my dad is so short sighted he is almost a mole so to be fair I doubt it was the tv that ruined whatever eyesight I had

    “You can’t have those they are full of E numbers” – ah E numbers the msg of the nineties. The mammy had a list of the banned ones on the fridge as myself and the brother would explode with hyperactivity if we even looked at them. Not surprisingly in a very sad form of rebellion I spent my college years addicted to skittles, opal fruits and desperate dan bars. E24, how I miss you. No artifical colours anymore im gutted

    “if you swallow that chewing gum it will collect in your stomach” – I swear to god lads I was convinced this was true until I was in my twenties. I swallowed some of the forbidden gum as a child and had the fear for months that I was screwed from the inside.

    “if you chew your hair it will collect in your stomach” – what was the mad nineties obsession with stories of stuff collecting in your stomach??! And how did every mammy know a girl who chewed her hair and died from a huge ball of hair? eek im scarred for life

    “because I said so” – in other words I have no genuine reason for saying no or just cant be bothered to explain my reasons.

    Reply
  • Aisling

    “Who’ll be looking at you anyway”

    TRUE

    Reply
  • Haha this is gas! My mammy used most of the above, ‘you’ll get a cold in your kidneys’ or ‘wear a scarf’ (which she was right about, got a cold when I didn’t and now love scarves just as she does)
    Or she’d say ‘don’t lean on the heater, you’ll get piles’ but I think that was just something the nuns told them in school.
    When we were children Dad especially would say ‘don’t sit so close to that gogglebox (tv) or you’ll get square eyes!’ haha when I think of it!
    Hate ‘let’s have a look at ya, is THAT what you’re wearing?’

    I love ‘what’s for you won’t pass you by’ – that’s good reassurance!

    The other one in our house ‘where’s so and so?’ -’she ran off with a sailor/soldier’

    Reply
  • “Stay away from that fella. He’s a bit quaint”. If only she knew how (unfortunately) right she was!

    Reply
  • I’ve another vote for “what’s meant for you, won’t pass you by!” and I admit, I say it all the time now.

    And the getting a chill in your kidneys. Found myself saying it to my niece the other day. Also, the “is that a belt or a skirt?”

    Sudocreme as well. Although I lived in Australia for a while and couldn’t find Sudocreme, was lost without it!!!

    My 94 year old granny told me once, never mind money, always marry the best looking man you can find.
    Because you may not always have food but at least you’ll have something nice to look at!!

    Reply
  • My nanny is full of these – “The fox never sent a better messenger than himself” Nothing’ll burn you quicker than a hot thing” “The coal that’ll burn my arse won’t burn yours” “If a fly fell off the wall, she’d be on the telly talking about it” :D

    Reply
  • Haha in stiches reading these! My mammy is a clare woman- ‘ dont mind that fella hes Nothin’ but an oinseach’ ..ceartnuk is another one (used to make me & my sis feel better in the event some boy didnt text/call/ broke up with us. Also ‘ ara who’ll be looking at you arent u grand’ ..’ fear of your breed’..’gargle in a bita listerine’.åh,and then there was the immersion,before beaut.ie i thought my mammy was the only one in ireland with the immersion obsession- we were actually gonna get her that hairy baby tshirt that says switch off the immersion for the laugh at christmas:) .another one ,frequently cited when we were caught red handed eating chocolate without permission ‘ u wont have a tooth in yer head’ or in our early teens to remind us of the importance of wearing a bra ‘ do you want to end up with boobs around your knees?’!! Dads favourite ‘ come here to me gossin’!

    Reply
  • Not from my Mam but have found myself uttering my Dad’s old classic- “It’s too cold to snow”. Used to drive me crazy when I was younger and hoping against hope for a snow day!

    Reply
  • Yep the cold in the kidneys is a real Irish mammy thing! Although once you get 1 uti from hell you’ll agree with her.
    My mam also was infatuated with drafts( not the game). She told me once Id get Bells Paulsey from sitting in one!! She’s a nurse so I gave her that one. She ran marathons when we were kids. She would go out in her running gear with no coat and a brown paper bag under her t shirt to cover her chest. We could hear her rustling a mile away.I laughed at her all the time, but now, with a feisty 6 year old of my own I can see the rational in everything she said. I’d never tell her that a “giving hand never fails “and “what’s for you won’t pass you.” I know she would get too much enjoyment out of that! I know that I’m slowly turning into her, but hey, she looks great at 60, is healthy as a horse and has her by annual Botox and fillers to keep her looking 50!!

    Reply
  • We didn’t have an immersion when I was young, the aga had to be turned up but I do remember being in other houses and being too shy to ask what it was so didn’t actually know for years. Des Bishop use to do it in his gigs. Leaving it on ‘bath’ was a mortal sin.

    The one that sticks outs was, when I’d ask to go out and be told no. When I’d ask why, I’d get a ‘no why’. Use to drive me cracked.

    Because I said so is up there too. I use it all the time in work though.

    Reply
  • Any time I complained that a picture of me wasn’t nice my granny would say….. Sure the camera can only take what’s in front of it. Thanks granny

    Reply
  • Long time follower, first time poster. This is my all time favourite Beaut.ie post! My Mammys words of wisdom would most definitely be up there with most ridiculously inexplicable sayings. A slight martyr, she adores being the ‘victim’ when we point out something she was to blame for: “if the dog had kittens it’d be my fault” is a favourite of hers.

    Also, if she did something that annoyed us, and we’d ask her politely to stopthatnow, we’d get “oh sorry, I’ll stop breathing altogether”. Which recently she has stopped saying because we told her we’d put it on her gravestone when she dies:

    Mammy YeraYaLike,
    1955-2055
    ‘She finally stopped breathing altogether’

    PS: A doll, a drum, a kick up the bum and a chase around the table. I feel like an 8 year old again!

    Reply
  • Me- mam I’ve a sore tummy,head,ear,leg is hanging off.
    Mammy- ah sure it’s far from your arse….. Go on with ya now.

    Reply
  • god millions!!

    Ye have a mouth as big as a basin.
    If you sit too close to the telly ye’ll get square eyes, if ye keep making strange faces the wind will change and ye’ll stay like that forever.

    me: what are we having for dinner?
    mam: Scotch Mist, french fog

    mam: If you dont eat that dinner Ill put you in hospital and they’ll feed you through a drip.

    Ill redden your arse, Why are you crying? Ill give you a good reason to cry now in a Minute

    If ye dont behave ill put you in a home

    Granny one is ..me:where you going? im off to the madhouse or to see a man about a dog

    Reply
  • It’s unbelieveable that all the mammies used these, did they do classes or something?
    “Who’s looking at you anyway” was the worst. At 15 going out to Superquinn or mass with your aul pair at the weekend you’d be thinking “EVERYONE!”
    My ma had some classics, particularly “You’re as fat as a match” (when I’d be remarking on my figure (weak compliment as far as I was concerned). And I was forced, I mean forced from relentless giving out and threats, to wear my hood up on my coat coming out of school, even when it wasn’t cold or wet. This was back when it was NOT. COOL. to wear your hood up. I’d put it up just when I’d get into mammy’s line of vision. I’d always get the “Who’s looking at you anyway” when I’d complain about that one.
    I SWEAR I’ll never use these ones with my offspring.

    Reply
  • Haaa haa I’m sore from laughing partly cause it’s happened to me I’ve become an irish mammy !!! I say these mad things like , ” I’ve only 2 hand see 1, 2 ” and ” what did your last slave die from “when my two are calling mammy for the umteen time or ” I’ll tell your father if ye don’t behave !” ” Put on a pair of socks will ya or u’ll catch your death , the cauld will go up through u !” ” Mother of God don’t tell that’s rain coming “……. mad but I suppose it’d be worse if we didn’t care , so funny to that we swear we’ll never be like that with our kids but we do end up sounding like our parents especially when we least expect it :-)

    Reply
  • @ LinnieDoll, Yes! I got that one too, “It’s far from your arse, you won’t sit on it” hahaha

    Reply
  • My mum punctuates everything by saying ‘Now!’ and not only have I started doing it but so has my boyfriend! We both know we do it and we have a laugh about it but it’s very hard to stop!

    Mum had a lot of the phrases already mentioned too, especially the starving kids in Africa. We used to retort ‘Well send it to them then!’

    Reply
  • Loving this post!!!

    I’ve a variety…actually most from my Dad…

    ‘Your mouth will get u in trouble some day young lady’
    ‘There are different ways to skin a cat’
    ‘I’ll get the wooden spoon…’..she never actually did!!!
    ‘Your not going out like that young lady…’
    ‘You’ll catch ur death in that…’

    But i think the best came from my mother-in-law to be yesterday….’With lovely long hair like that..i bet he (her son) doesn’t give u a minutes peace…wouldn’t u cut it to above your shoulders at least’….gawd..morto i was!!!

    Reply
  • In stitches here! Ours were and still are- “Mockins catchin”, “if you eat your carrots you’ll see in the dark like a rabbit” , if you get a cold its “sure you didn’t dry your hair”, “sure who’ll be looking at you?”, if you answer something with “because” (went through a phase of it being a constant retort) my lovely Mammy would say “who’s he when he’s at home?”, if you were lazy enough to not leave the house all day “you’ll not sleep tonight”, “will we get a few foosies” (sweets and cakes and the like!) and about a million others! “Me lady” is the one that always tells me to cop on if I’m in the sours and I get “me lady”!! Another she always uses is “ri ra agus rulya bulya” now I’m guessing its origins are from Irish but Mammy wouldn’t have a word of Irish and thats how she’d spell it, would love to know what its real meaning is- she’d use it in terms of a wedding or party- there’ll be ri ra agus rulya bulya ie craic. Ach where would we be withouth them!

    Reply
  • classics from my mammy:

    If you fall out of that tree and break both of your legs, don’t come running to me…

    Don’t make me come up there!

    If you don’t behave we’ll sell you back to the gypsys where we got ya…

    Can you see the green in me eye? (apparently this is the same as coming down in the last shower)

    don’t sit on the cold wall or you’ll get piles…thanks ma!

    (for various ailments/amputations/fatal diseases)..put some Sudocrem on it! If the sudocrem (gasp) failed, have some tea.

    Reply
  • “gargle with salt and water”!
    Never ONCE worked and yet still, to this very day she still believes it could cure anything!
    Also, the “bare chest” was ALWAYS the root of any cough/cold I had!

    Reply
  • Hahahaha! Love these!

    Another vote for: “Sure, who’ll be looking at you?” and “I’ll give you something to cry about!” and the airing obsession in spite of an aversion to the dryer.

    Had this conversation with my friend the other day and she had just caught herself saying to her husband “there’s no point in doing a thing if you’re not going to do it properly”. She was traumatised at the mammy of it all.

    (In the car) “if you don’t stop fighting back there I’ll leave you on the side of the road” (accompanied by car slowing down).

    My mother had one she used to say to my much younger sister when she was told that once again she was too small to do something the way we did it: “You’re good at your own thing”. And at the time she really wasn’t. We still howl at that one.

    Reply
  • haha hilarious stuff!

    Me: that’s a nice dress/top
    Ma: Yeah, but you would have to have the figure for it.

    Eh, thanks Ma! would’nt want to be sensitive would you!

    Reply

Leave a Reply




Subscribe to Comments?

Content © Beaut.ie and partners