I like to think that I’m not very squeamish. Having been raised as the youngest of a million smelly boys, I’ve been equally exposed to frogs, nails and puppy dog’s tails as I have to sugar, spice and everything nice. I’m sure I’d make an excellent cleaner, if I had any upper-body strength.
Despite my lack of prissy tendencies, there are some very harmless words that can send me on a wave of cringe-gasms. Yep, words. Most of ‘em don’t even mean anything bad, they just sound yucky. Fassbender himself could utter one of these and it’d induce instant knee clamping and teeth gnashing.
My list, though it pains me to type it, is:
Panties - There’s something about this that just sounds so horrible to me.
Cunnilingus – Eurgh! Okay, to be clear, I haven’t got an issue with the act itself but cunnilingus, seriously? It sounds like some sort of fungal infection. What’s more, the male equivalent - fellatio, sounds like somewhere you’d go on holiday. “Oh, we had a lovely time on the coast of Fellatio! Great deal on flights too!” See?
Furnish – Doesn’t it just sound mouldy? Like you’ve left your bread in the air and it’s gone all furnish-y. Gak.
Okay, your ugliest words, throw ‘em at me!