“You know” said himself one evening recently. “You don’t need to eat breakfast. It’s a very recent trend in our evolutionary cycle and without fundamental nutritional basis.”
At which point I turned my attention from East Enders, put down my book (50 Shades natch), closed my laptop and knew this must have been a topic George Hook had been pontificating about on the drive home from work.
“Are you talking about the OMG diet?” I asked.
“I dunno, maybe?” he said.
I knew he was, because one of the reasons the OMG diet has got people talking is because it disagrees with many of the nutritional “rules” that have been taught to us over the years.
“Many industry people worried when they found out I was going to write this. Why? Because they knew I’d cut the crap. And they knew that if I did that, you’d probably stop buying their next diet, exercise ‘secret’, or food product.” says Venice.
No they didn’t Venice (real name Paul). Please everyone read this actually unbelievable excerpt from the book.
So what pearls of wisdom have the diet industry quaking in their boots? The main rules: don’t eat breakfast and exercise for an hour on an empty stomach. Your body will use your fat ass as fuel. Drink lots of coffee. Do lots of exercise. Have cold baths. Fruit is the devil. So is broccoli. Smoothies are liquified devils. Don’t eat little and often.
“In the last 200 years, we’ve been having breakfast and we’ve seen a slow but steady increase during that time in both sickness and obesity.”
Yes and we’ve also seen a slow but steady increase in people having enough food. And we’ve seen a huge increase in life cycle. Fact is, Venice, you can skew the stats whichever way you like.
But there are some truths in the book
- Of course you will lose lots of weight if you eat as little as possible and drink loads of coffee.
- Of course you will love this book if you’re a young girl who’s not confident with her body. It’s written precisely for you.
“Many will say that you don’t need any help, including parents. They might state that, ‘you’re fine as you are’, ‘it’s unhealthy’, or repeat the classic, ‘it’s just puppy fat’. Guess what, you’re not a puppy! Are they right about the other stuff?
No. Only you can ever decide if you’re fine. No one else.”
Written in the “talk to the hand” lingo of the most vacuous of American teen shows this book encourages faddy eating and makes up excuses for not eating. It connects directly with the people who most need sensible eating advice and gives them shite soundbites to buffer them in their quest for skinniness. It actually could have been produced by a pro-ana website.
Forget other people. They’re just jealous haterz. Your friends want you to fail because they want to be skinnier than you.
“I just want you to realize something about friends. It applies to people you might work with too.
They’re scared. Not jealous, scared. Applying this book could rocket you to happiness and they don’t want to be left behind. Of course they could do the same, but we humans seem to think that only one person can be successful at a time!”
Life in OMG Diet land is one big competition to become the skinniest you can be. But don’t cut your friends off completely advises Venice. Why?
“Because of that fear, don’t expect them to help you. Some might even go too far and discourage you. Now, I’m not telling you to ignore your friends completely. We need friends. I mean who else are we going to show off to!”
It’s all about you, only you. Don’t listen to anyone else. Don’t let the people who care about you divert you from your ultimate goal of skinniness.
God how dangerous and cynical a message is this?
“No one cares more about you, than you. No one lives in your mind or body, but you. The person in the mirror, that’s you. Absolutely everything is down, to you. And, when those OMG reactions start flying your way, only you can say, I did that.”
Have you been reading about this diet? What are your thoughts?