Ever since I can remember, I’ve been fecked with skin as dry as Pat Kenny. Yes, I know I used this simile before but I’m hoping it’ll become a popular Irish turn of phrase if I say it often enough. As dry as Pat Kenny. Anyway, never one to be happy with my lot, I’ve acquired a collection of body moisturisers to soften the sting of sahara skin.
Body Butters from The Body Shop win on two counts. Firstly, they’ve a massive range of scents, I was sent the Moringa one, a really light floral fella that’s as soft and inoffensive as you can be before you start going into the Zooey Deschannel realm of bland. Over the years, I’ve tried a handful of different butters and not one has disappointed – the fragrance lingers for the entire day and well into the night.
Secondly, it’s massively nourishing. Moringa is formulated with dry skin in mind so, naturally, it takes longer to soak in and leaves a light residue. Because of that, I’d recommend giving this one a go before you hit the hay, rather than shortly before you have to dress.
Instant Gratification On A Budget
comes in the form of Garnier Intensive Seven Day Gel Cream. At a pocket-friendly 4.99, this sinks in rapidly and leaves no greasy residue. I’m declaring this a winner for the frantic trips to the bathroom before unexpected trysts. Whack this on, give it just seconds in sink in and allow yourself the rest of your time to commander himself’s Gilette Mach Three.
The Fancy Quickie
Getting sexier and more upmarket is Roger & Gallet Fleur d’Osmanthus Beauty Oil – God’s gift to lazy bitches with a penchant for fancy scents and shiny skin. You can spray this on your hair or body for some quick nourishment with a luxe feel.
It’s sort of pricey, at €26.50 for a 100ml bottle, but time is money and it takes all of four seconds to coat yourself in soft citrus-y goodness. The super shiny finish that this imparts is flattering on your chest or legs but be sure to make sure you’ve given it a quick rub in before putting clothes on; although it’s a dry oil, it’ll still feck up your linens if you’ve doused yourself liberally.
Skin Tone Enhancer
After years of thinking that E45 were a bit safe and stuffy, I’ve changed my mind and am loving their new range of moisturisers. I’ve been using the Silky Radiance option, a lightweight but soothing lotion that is shot through with very subtle golden shimmer. I promise, it’s very fine – worlds away from vampires in sunlight stripper glitter and just functions to brighten up dull skin.
Elave’s range are a pretty safe bet for people who have trouble finding a product that doesn’t irritate their skin. is a rich and deeply nourishing body lotion with no scent. I apply bucket loads of this at a time and find that it does leave a white glow, so no swift applications before running out the door. It’s a no-frills, simple and effective kinda job that I wouldn’t be without.
La Roche Posay Cicaplast is, for me, the most exciting skin-care product that has been launched in a long time. It’s a cure-all, multi-purpose cream that does wonders for skin that has been neglected.
It’s super thick, leaving an obvious white film and taking a good time to soak in. That aside, this repairs seriously fecked up skin from application one. I’m loving this on cracked heels, lips and the dreaded flake nose. At only 12.50, this is something I think everyone should have in their kitchen cupboard.
Have you tried any? What’s your top choice?