Don’t do an innocent search for this. Just don’t do it

By Aisling | February 11 2011 | 85 Comments

cream pie

In the course of researching for and doing other important tasks, we are frequently shocked to the core at the results of innocent search terms.

My first insight into the disgusting results that can appear was when I was googling “facials”. The results: don’t Google that word expecting a run down of the latest in salon skincare alone. Nope, you’ll find something quite different, especially if you run an image search.

In a post about he Wand Wizard we were a bit worried about what might, er, pop up as it were. But all was fine until the term frankenwand was mentioned in the comments. “oh DEAR” said Daiseeboo, who disregarded all advice and googled the term. “I am beginning to realise I lead a very sheltered life. Think I would be better suited to life in a convent.

The latest ugh term not to search for is “cream pies.” Don’t do it people – just don’t do it!

What have you accidentally come across (as it were) and what would you tell everyone to avoid?

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85 Replies to "Don’t do an innocent search for this. Just don’t do it"

  • babyinacorner says:

    What to ‘avoid’ will have everyone googling those words!!! I don’t know what cream pies is, I’m sure I’m better off not knowing!

  • Lava Girl says:

    We were just talking about this in work yesterday. You don’t want to search blue waffle if you are about to tuck into your lunch, yuk!

  • RiRi says:

    I burst out laughing while reading this.

    When I was in my final year of school(leaving certificate equvalent).
    Me and my friend were working on a project but we didnt have access to computer. So we decided to go to the Internet cafe just down the road from our school.
    So me and my friend go and sit down to open the internet explorer and the second thing I haer is a big scream from my friend.
    The home page was saved as some p**n website and there was some nasty action going on.
    As innocent 17 year olds we just got so scared, as we have always imagined s*x to be romantic and sweet.Not like the man with big d**k humping the brains out of the missus with big b**bs.
    We just picked up our bags and ran as fast as we could.
    And never went to that internet cafe again.

  • Googleheim says:

    Ice docking. Don’t ask.

  • hockeysticks says:

    Whatever about googling .. has anyone been watching The Joy of Teen Sex ? My good lord, I was in hindsight extremely innocent for not just my teens but also it seems all my 20’s and the first few months of my 30’s.
    Its porn .. and shocks me more each week!!

  • Lesa says:

    hockeysticks, Was at a loss for something to watch the other night so went on 4OD and saw that advertised. My god it’s a bit graphic! Maybe I’m just being a fuddy duddy but suggesting $ex toys and positions to 17 year olds seemed a bit much to me. Surprised there wasn’t complaints about it tbh. Also, there was a 16 year old girl thought she was immune to STD’s because she was on the pill, when asked how many $exual partners she’s had she was into double digits!!

  • Emz says:

    Lava Girl – saw that “blue waffle” image a few months ago & still haven’t recovered *bleugh*

  • Joy says:

    Hockeysticks…I have never watched it and I dont think I ever want to…there’s something really not right about having that on tv…pretty sure a lot of old weirdos would be very interested! Their parents must be so proud!

    But I have an embarrassing story…when I was in about second year of secondary, myself and my friend were reading bliss magazine (or one of those) and they were reccommending a teen chatroom called or something similar. I told my dad about it and we went onto the computer with him (being all safe and responsible with an adult) and he accidentally typed in ……well….myself and my friend nearly died. Pure filth!! soooo embarassing, my poor dad didn’t know what to do!!! But we laugh about it now!

  • Jenny R says:

    Oh God, slightly off topic, but I took a gap year and went travelling a few years ago. I was in an internet cafe in Argentina and the guy beside me was quite openly watching porn!!!! Ugh!!!! RAN away very quickly…..

  • Aphrodite says:

    Just googled Blue Waffle

    Lava Girl I can never unsee this

  • Becky says:

    Hi riri that’s hilarious. I was re-doing my bathroom last year and was researching showers without using safe search. The images were not pleasant!

  • missyL says:

    one day in college a few years ago, we had to design a basic website, with links to other websites on it…and then do a presentation on it

    one other team in my class did “activities around UCD”… and put a link to leisureplex bowling…. but the link was to leisureplex.COM not .IE….

    and when they clicked the link to show it worked…. oh everyone got a nice surprise!

    not sure if it still is the same anymore or not…. but in 2006 this was funny!

  • Lenuska says:

    WHY did I have to google blue waffle right before lunch…?

  • RiRi says:

    Aphrodite and Lenuska,
    After your comments I am not going to google blue waffle, no matter what.
    Good thing I am at work so I cannot.

  • Aphrodite says:

    I was giving a class before on how on how to use the Internet to a group of teenagers. I was asking them for search terms for the “I feel lucky” search and then I was displaying the results on the big screen.

    One of the girls suggested “boyzone” (this was a few years ago).

    A gay porn site came up on the screen. Boy was I sorry when I did that search.

  • What I find disturbing is when someone has draw cartoons of very innocent characters like Simpsons or Muppets and turned them into cartoon p*rn. Who has time to do this stuff? And shouldn’t they be locked up? lol

  • Aphrodite says:

    RiRi – you know you will though! Is only a matter of time…

  • RiRi says:

    Annabella Freeman, I know, once I was looking for the information on the Cartoon Network show ‘The Jetsons'(I used to love watching the show) I was shocked, never will I again be able to watch Jetsons the way I did before.
    I will never google ‘The Simpsons’ as I love watching them.

  • RiRi says:

    Aphrodite, I know I will but will wait till weekend to do on my own laptop.

  • Aoife says:

    Me and my sister in law were watching tv the other night and The Joy of Teen Sex came on… We sat there gobsmacked and couldnt turn it off!! Im 20 myself and I couldnt get over what they were showing these kids, the tips they were giving them… Showing positions and telling a young teenage girl to send her boyfriend suggestive pictures! Maybe Im a tad old fashioned but thats just not right…

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