Whether you call them Spanx, Bridget Jones pants, or magic knickers, it’s probably fair to say that most of us are at least on nodding terms with suck-you-in shapewear. And there might even be one or two of us on get-a-scissors-and-cut-me-out-of-them-quick! terms with ‘em, having succumbed to the idea that buying a size smaller would equate to ultimate shrinkage.
Shapewear pieces aren’t called foundation garments for nothing. They’re heavy-duty items designed to do things like slim your silhouette and smooth lumps and bumps and lift and separate the cheeks of your arse. So it’s not surprising that they’re inclined to be truly awful-looking yokes that you mightn’t particularly want the object of your affections to see you in should your evening take a turn for the amorous.
So Spanx put on their thinking caps. They decided that what the world needs now isn’t so much love, sweet love, as sexy sexy Spanx. To that end, the brand have created a line of sumptuous shapewear (their words) called “Haute Contour” that promises to do all the magic streamlining of those flesh-toned cycling short versions… just in a less aesthetically revolting form.
There’s quite a bit of lace and sheer mesh fabric involved in sexing up Spanx, apparently, but going for the gussied up version will cost you. Prices range from about €100 for the knickers end of things and the top half of the range is even dearer, with control panel camisoles and the like ranging in price from about €150 – a massive €230. Celeb fans include one S. Osbourne, who was spotted stocking up on a few pieces from BT’s lingerie boutique last weekend.
Would you be tempted to splash out on sexy Spanx or would you be more inclined to just, er, slip into something more comfortable should the need arise?