Away way back before Christmas, Roy wondered if we ladies are fussy about the way our fellas keep their fingernails. The general consensus was that once they’re kept short and clean we’re happy enough, but what’s to be done if you reckon Him Indoors could actually do with some major improving in terms of the talons? Unless he takes a particularly metrosexual approach to the business of grooming, it’s unlikey you’ll be able to persuade him to toddle off to the salon for a spot of professional attention. However, he just might be persuaded to go for a free-and-confidential at-home man manicure Extreme Male Nail Overhaul! administered by yourself.
Before you dismiss the idea completely, thinking that he’d never go for it, let me tell you that a quick straw poll of some of my man friends revealed they were all much less agin the idea than you might expect. The key thing to secure approval, as far as I can see, is to actually not mention the nail thing at all: bill it as a hand massage instead and link it to an immediate improvement in his preferred sport. Hurling? Golf? Oh he’ll have a far superior grip and swing altogether after a hand massage; sure DJ Carey swore by them his entire career and Tiger Woods has them regularly as part of physio.
And sure if all else fails, you know you can just call it a hand job.
Once you’ve secured approval, however reluctant, keep things as simple as possible and don’t make a big deal out of the process. The best time to pounce is probably when he’s a bit distracted with one eye on the telly; make use of his complete and utter inability to multi-task because God knows it’s just about the only time it’ll come in useful. Use a not-too-girly hand cream in a non-pink container to administer a nice hand massage, slick on a bit of nail oil to help sort out his (probably) disgusting cuticles, push them back, and trim (or file, if you’re allowed) the nails themselves into some semblance of a shape.
Then, just for the craic, whip out your brightest, girliest nail varnish while holding his paw in a truly vice-like grip and briskly saying “Now this’ll just take a minute…”