Grannymar wonders: is there really such a thing as a free lunch?

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A couple of months ago we met up with glorious Grannymar for a photocall and a leetle bit of lunch. The conversation of course turned to all things beautiful and I asked her would she share some of her beauty secrets with us. The post she sent me had me in stitches. Her tale includes

  • The time her brothers bought their mother a tube of Pollyfilla for Christmas
  • How to guess the alarm code of a lady of a certain age
  • How her Mammy got the nickname the Avon Lady
  • And shares the tale of her fake tan disaster

Hilarious stuff! Thanks Grannymar - and of course there is such a thing as a free lunch - we must go for another one soon!

Early in August I was invited to lunch by the ‘Beautiful People’ ! After an hour of romping about on the floor in a nearby hotel we settled down to a delicious meal at the Market bar in Fade Street Dublin. The wine flowed and soon we were bantering away like long lost cousins. The stories came easily and our laughter soon reached the rafters. We were a jolly group of females from various walks of life and ages, all with a commen interest – Blogging!

My mother warned me many moons ago that there was no such thing as a free lunch. So today is payback time in the form of a guest post.

Mind you my mother said many things all those years ago. She told me when I was about 15 that ‘I would never be beautiful, but I could strive to be elegant’! If that was not enough my brothers of which I had four, were known to have told me I looked like the back of a bus. Now we all know that the back of a Dublin bus on a wet November day is not a pretty sight! :lol: Thankfully I took little heed of anything my brothers said as they were usually joking. Well, I think they were!

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Now my mother was not known for using make-up. On her dressing table was a large comb, a compact of loose powder with a powder puff, a bottle of Je Reviens Perfume by Worth. There was also a bottle of 4711 (pronounced "four seven-eleven") Eau de Cologne. The latter reminds me that when burglar alarms were first introduced for private homes, it was usual for the lady of the house to be present at the time of installation. It was well before the days of pin numbers and these ladies were asked to think of a four digit number that they would easily remember, but not a family birthday year, for use with the alarm. The most popular and regular number suggested was 4711.

With such a lack of cosmetics at home I had little excuse to play and experiment with beauty products. Mammy never used moisturiser and her skin aged quickly. For as long as I can remember she had a very lined face. In fact my brothers bought a packet of Pollyfilla and gift wrapped it for her one Christmas. Thankfully she saw the funny side of it and the story was told many times over the years.

Another tale she told with laughter was when a young lady called to the door. This Lady announced that she was the local Avon Representative. She had to explain to my mother what an Avon Representative was all about. Mammy said “Now be honest, what can you do for that?” pointing to her face. The young lady took two steps backwards, said “Thank You”, and practically ran away from the door! From than on we called mammy ‘The Avon lady’.

Now moments of vanity were not unknown to me. I too fell for the lure of the golden glow! Not alone was I put off a quick tan for life, but never want to hear the word Vodka again!Did you know:

* There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models and only about eight who do.
* Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14.
* If Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
* The average woman weighs 144 lbs. and wears between a size 12-14.
* The models in the magazines are airbrushed - not perfect.
* Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less.

This little poem is my creed.

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Beauty of a Woman"

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears
The figure she carries
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in a facial mole.
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
The beauty of a woman
With passing years - only grows.

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