Happy International Tea Day one and all. An entire day dedicated to the wonderful cup of cha, it really should be honoured as much as Christmas by Irish people as we pretty much live on the stuff.
Feeling tired? Have a cup of tea. Feeling hungover? A cuppa will sort you out! Don't know what to offer a guest? Sure who can say no to tea? Suffered some unspeakable heartbreak? You'll be grand once you have a cup of tea.
Anyways, we will get to the point. We have decided through years of anthropological research* that we know what the way you drink your tea actually says about you. There are of course unlimited variations on how one can take their tea, but we'll stick to the mainstream ways for now.
*May not have involved official anthropological research.
- Black, no sugar.
You won't find a more straight up person that this drinker. They know what they want and they'll stick to it. They have no time for your bullsh*t and tell you to feck off with your milk and sugar notions. Or they're lactose intolerant. Either/or.
- Black, with sugar.
This person is a total wild card. They normally drink coffee really but every so often they'll go in for the tea, but they need it as sweet as can be because they need the energy for all their mad hatter last minute plans. Great craic, but don't get too attached.
- Weak, with a little milk
This person has commitment issues. They think they like tea, but they still aren't a hundred percent. However, they still want to be part of the tea drinking buzz even though essentially they are drinking slightly browned water. A harmless enough sort, though.
- Strong with milk.
This is your tea drinker 101. They were practically breastfed on the stuff. They like tea, and they don't like you if you don't like tea. Traditional enough folk, most likely called Mary or John.
- Strong with milk and 2 sugars.
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This person just could not give a toss in the absolute best way possible. They just go for it in life and accept no half measures. They are most likely young with no actual life responsibilities and isn't it well for them.
- Regular strength, milk, one sugar.
This person is kind of like above and is a steady enough sort but with a crazy streak you will probably only see at the weekends.
- Regular strength, normal amount of milk.
This person is the least fussiest person you'll ever meet. They worry about very little. Least of all how they drink their tea.
- Medium strength, lots of milk.
This person is just lovely altogether. They like their tea warm and comforting and are generally a joy to be around. This may or may not be how this writer takes her tea.
- They put the milk in first.
They are your dad.
- They don't drink tea.
Do not trust this person.
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So, how do you take yours?
