Oh, you're actually reading something? That's good. Good for you.
There's nothing quite like a barbed putdown or underhanded aside to really get at someone. And it's one of the things we really despise.
We've rounded up the top ten that really made us want to smack someone. But we suspect you might have some more to add to that list and we'd love to hear them.
Read at your own desire-to-smack-in-the-face peril:
- "You look well-rested. You looked like you needed it."
This plays on our minds for days. Did I look THAT tired? Oh God, I need to stop working as much. They often follow this up with...
- "Half-day?"
If someone's leaving earlier than this passive-agressive devil, they obviously want them to feel bad and so deploy this. Also, an eyebrow-arch may be thrown in for maximum effect.
- "That's so weird, I'd never expected the two of you together."
This is used if someone's in a new relationship and they want to throw a bit of insecurity your way - either you're settling or you're punching above your weight.
- "Oh yeah, they're from ______ and you'd know it, too."
It doesn't have to be anywhere specific. It could literally be anywhere. It could be the Moon. All that's need is the inference of wherever you're from, it ain't good.
- "You covered that spot really well! You wouldn't even notice it!"
Oh yes. This implies that your makeup skills are poor and that you've got ridiculously noticeable oil slick skin. Double-hit. Boom.
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- "I MUCH prefer your hair shorter / longer."
Your mother deploys this one with ease. Learn from her.
- "The bit of weight suits you."
Hey, you know what? Maybe it does. So screw you.
- -I'm going out tonight. "Again?"
YES. AGAIN. I HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE. I'LL HAVE A DRINK ON A WEEK-NIGHT IF I WANT TO.
- "I don't know if it'd be your type of thing."
This, again, can be used for anything. Trendy bar, intellectual type film or, y'know, an art gallery thing. It doesn't have to be any of those. That's the beauty of this.
- "Oh, you _____. Yeah, that makes sense."
What makes sense? WHAT?
That's all we can think of right now because, well, we've got other stuff to be doing, you know? Yeah.
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So tell us, do you have any other gems to add to the list? And do you have any passive-agressive devils in your life?
