In the everyday hustle and bustle of being a delightful young lady, it’s easy to forget about your poor Irish Mammy, slaving away to your Irish Daddy’s needs and maintaining the house with a never-ending supply of things to clean, or so she says.
With Mother’s Day coming up, now is the perfect time to reach out to your Mammy and let her know that she is deeply appreciated and very often the source of your laughter because, as we all know, Irish Mammies certainly have their Liam Neeson in Taken-style particular set of skills.
If it wasn’t for a Mammy, how else would we know that the weather is due to take a turn? If she’s taught you anything, it’s that in this modern age, the weather forecasters are not to be trusted. They’ll tell you one thing and the opposite is guaranteed to happen. It’s easy to figure out why – they’re lacking a Mammy’s weather intuition. All Mammies develop a sixth sense known as ‘tempestas praenuntientur’ or weather forecasting, to you and I. Approximately six minutes before a big shower, mammy is out at that clothesline herding those clothes in like sheep to slaughter. Surely enough, the monsoon will arrive shortly after.
Mammy could make solid living out of weight monitoring. She’s the first person to tell you if you look ‘healthy’ or ‘starved’. Her opinion is not to be sniffed at either. She’s seen many a person of all shapes and sizes and by Christ she will do a great job of informing you if yours changes in the most miniscule manner. In a shocking turn of events, Mammy will feed you like there's a famine when you call over, which is all the more difficult to swallow after she’s informed you that your stomach looks ‘soft’ these days. Not to worry, she simply doesn’t understand the genius behind the 5:2 diet.
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The births, deaths and marriages page of the local paper is in serious danger of going out of business thanks to Mammy. She’ll make it her business to ring you at all hours to let you know who’s involved with who and where. Neighbours and distant relatives you question ever existed will require your thoughts and prayers after their passing, and Mammy will have you well informed, mere minutes after the doctor himself has announced it. She's the town crier, that woman!
Skewed current affairs are a specialty of the Irish Mammy as well. This is a direct result of the news immediately following the Angelus. She’ll cast a weary and half-operational ear on the headlines, presumably as a talking point for your next conversation. God help you if the day’s headlines remotely involve you, your loved ones or place of work. You will be hounded with the utmost concern and good intentions, but also so Mammy has the inside scoop for the ladies at bingo.
Phone etiquette is where the Irish Mammy really comes into her own. Not one to keep up with technological advancements, the housephone is the be all and end all. You can be sure you’ve called the right house because she will recite the number back to you when she answers. Desperate attempts to modernise her have failed and the mobile phone gathers dust. As if speaking through tin cans, she will almost always remark that you sound sick and question whether you are getting a cold or have just gotten over one. Either way, she's right.
Have we just described your Mammy down to a tee or is she the exception? Let us know what skills your beloved mother possesses or simply what you love the most about her!
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Did you catch a lovely Mammy being surprised yesterday? Get your tissues at the ready.
