What will I get my husband for our first wedding anniversary? It’s paper isn’t it? Hmmm… have to have a think about this one.
WAIT. I KNOW.
I’ll get him a prostitute. Then we can have a threesome but none of us will be into it, especially not the hooker, or my husband and CERTAINLY not me and I’ll just sit on the bed eating crisps and having a laugh as he does the business with her.
Then it will make a totes adorbs kooky story and I’ll tell it with lots of eyerolling and girlish giggling (and so will he) as we promote the life out of my new book on every chat show we can get on.
Jason Biggs wife Jenny Mollen is an actress (you can see her in Girls) and writer (she was a columnist for Playboy which everyone buys for the writing obviously). And now she's written a book. And this is how she's promoting it. She's actually spent most of her life in a desperate bid for attention - read more here.
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“My wife, first of all, took three ladies over the course of different days, three different ladies — my God, it's really impossible to really say anything on daytime television, isn't it?” he said. “Well, let's just say that I didn't complete the mission and my wife found the whole thing to be quite hysterical even while it was happening. She was actually on the bed watching, eating a bag of chips, laughing! So as you can imagine I wasn't really performing to the best of my abilities. But also, said prostitute wasn't really engaging with my wife the way I was hoping she would. So it all fell apart and the rest is in the book!”
Listen, isn’t this the most ridiculous lame ass attempt to promote a book you’ve ever heard of? Jenny backed down when television hosts didn't find the story funny. And note how one hooker has morphed into three by the time Jason tells the story.
Jason Biggs is not a stranger to people laughing at his hilariously gross onscreen sex life - he splurted to fame with the infamous “making love to a beautiful apple tart” scene in American Pie and he’s spent most of Orange is The New Black making love to himself. So why not take it a step further and pretend such incidents happen in real life too?
It's obviously up to them what they get up to - each to their own and all that - but I just didn't find this story funny in the slightest. It was crass in the extreme and didn't ring true. As publicity stunts go it certainly worked - we're talking about the book now. But I just know I never want to read that book which apparently is packed full of such saucy revelations.
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What do you think? Has celebrity actually started to eat itself?
