Recently, I came across a book with the word 'lifechanging' in the title. At first, I rolled my eyes - I know how to write a sensational headline or title, they're not going to fool me - but as it came recommended by a former colleague for whom I have a huge amount of respect, she's also a fab writer (shout out to Rhona McAuliffe on Twitter), I had it downloaded on Audible within minutes.
(PS - That's another life changing discovery; I'm getting through so many more books now that I can go hands-free and listen as I work/clean/do yoga - whatever. I also feel I absorb a lot more when listening to a book as opposed to reading. As someone with the attention span of a gnat, I've been known to have to re-read page after page just to get it into my wandering mind.)
The book is The Lifechanging Magic of Not Giving a F*ck, written by Sarah Knight (the author reads the book on Audible too). Inspired by the world-renowned brilliance of The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, Knight's book is premised on the idea of decluttering your mind of things that don't bring you joy, so that you can focus your time, energy and money on the things that do.
In a world where many of us are guilty of giving far too many f*cks about all sorts of things - what other people think of us would have to take the biscuit - there's not one person who wouldn't benefit from reading this book, unless of course, you're a modern day Mother Teresa, in which case the f-word in the title would have put you off in the first place.
Inspired by Knight's refreshing, bullsh*t free ideology, here we've gotten straight to work on compiling a list of the things that don't give us any real joy and therefore deserve no f*cks. To correspond with that list, we've written another one chronicling the things we do really care about, the things that give us a little bit of happiness in an otherwise average day, all of which are worthy of our incredibly precious f*cks.
Once you master the idea of not caring what other people will think of you - because let's face it, that's the only thing holding every single one of us back - you will feel lighter, you will feel less anxious, you will feel less stressed. You'll sleep better and you'll enjoy what makes you happier even more. You will no longer feel guilty about saying no to a party that just doesn't pique your interest. You'll enjoy staying in bed for ten minutes longer and no more will you feel like a failing human being because you're not out running a marathon at 5am. At the core of Knight's message, though, it's really about giving yourself a break, so do it.
Here's our working list, some of which you may relate to, other parts you may not, but the key here is to write your own. It's like taking your bra off at the end of a hard day, and never having to put it back on. Bliss.
Inconsequential things I don't give a f*ck about and what will henceforth get more of my time:
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1. Don't care - Sports.
I didn't watch Ireland beat Italy. I won't be 'in' on all the virals about what's his face who scored the goals. My Facebook and Twitter feed were quiet. Instead, I had a bath and shaved my legs because the growth was getting out of control.
Do care - getting into bed before I'm even remotely tired with a self-improvement book.
2. Don't care - Eating clean.
I berate myself daily for this but f*ck it; I want to eat a biscuit with my tea and nobody's going to die for it.
Do care - I have a sweet tooth and I'm sick of trying to abandon it like a rogue child.
3. Don't care - Avocados.
Christ, I hate them and they are in every single recipe of 2016. Sometimes I've ordered a dish with avocado in the mix and winced through the entire thing because what, I 'should' like avocados if everyone else does? Nope. Done.
Do care - Hummus.
4. Don't care- Sweet potatoes.
Same as above.
Do care - Regular potatoes, and I do not give a rat's if they do or do not fit my Macros.
5. Don't care - Going to work-related events...
that I have no interest in because I'm afraid they will think badly of me. Do I have to be super apologetic for not going? Does it mean I'm an asshole? No.
Do care - getting into my PJs at 6pm and watching Say Yes To The Dress.
6. Don't care - Snapchat.
Do. Not. Care. Other people's Snapchat stories? I cannot fathom how anyone has the energy or time in their day to sit through the monotony of someone else's life. Wouldn't you rather just live your own?
Do care - Admittedly I adore Instagram and get a kick out of sharing a pic that will garner a lot of likes - usually, it's of my dog or something interiors themed - but again, I should probably care less about people engaging or not engaging with something as meaningless as an Instagram profile.
7. Don't care - Missing out on Game of Thrones.
The whole GOT movement just passed me by and until now I've dodged conversations for fear of revealing that I do not have my finger on the pulse of everything. Will I watch it some day? Probably not. Do I care? No.
Do care - BBC's Horizon documentaries.
8. Don't care - Camping and gross travelling in general.
For as long as I can remember I have tried to force myself into being the kind of person who can hack a 3-day stint at a festival or a trek through the Amazon jungle. The thought alone stresses me out. I've felt, that until I can slum it and really be in the moment carefree, I won't have 'lived'. F*ck that. Now when people ask me if I'm going to Electric Picnic I say 'oh God no, unless I can stay in a five-star hotel'. And I don't feel one bit uncool for feeling this way. I like my comforts. So sue me.
Do care - Luxury hotels. I am very happy to accumulate money and then spend it on nice accommodation. It's my money, I can do with it what I please. Why does slumming it in a cesspit of mud and Polish beer have to be considered as some sort of inevitable rite of passage? If it is, I'm skipping it. I can still see the world and lay my head on a Hungarian Goose Down pillow at the end of the day. And I'm still a fun f*cking person (not that I care what you think... GODAMMIT!)
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Grab a pen and paper, start writing your lists, and as Knight recommends, start with things, then work and leave the minefield that is family and friends until you're a seasoned zero f*ck giver. We're working on the latter as you read this.
In a word, 'lifechanging'.
