I thought our telly was broken the first weekend of the X Factor live shows. The colour seemed way off but, just as I was about to start fiddling with the display settings to fix it, the realisation dawned that it was only Cheryl Cole who seemed to be affected.
The telly couldn't cope with the colour of her, and I couldn't blame it. She didn't just look bronzed. She looked like she'd been Tangoed a couple of times before being sprayed with fence dye and dipped in Ronseal for good measure.
Now, in addition to often coveting her hair I have always quite liked Cheryl. However, the effect on that Saturday and Sunday night was WAG-tastic at best (and chavvy at worst, my Twitter peeps reckoned), and matters weren't helped by the greyhound dresses she sported both nights. (Yes, pet, you have legs. Well, those shoe-boot yokes aren't very flattering but yes, otherwise they're lovely legs. Now put them away already!)
Things were looking up for Cheryl on the tan front last weekend, prompting Simon Cowell to remark that she "looked less orange" live on air, and she even covered up her pins (albeit in in a minging jumpsuit) on Saturday night. On Sunday, though, it looked like she was slipping back into bad habits: the legs were back out with a bang and even the super strong studio lights that were glaring down on the stage couldn't disguise their Deep Mahogany hue as the judges walked out at the start of the show.
Advertised
Sigh.
As for the plum hair - which some meedja outlets are inexplicably insisting on calling "flaming/fiery red" - well, it looks like a box job gone bad, but I have to admit I sported a similar colour myself once.
Of course, I was 15 at the time...
