By now, you’ve probably heard about Laura, Alan Shatter’s foray into writing from 1990, the book billed as “a novel you will never forget”. It came to everyone’s attention a few weeks ago when it was revealed that a complaint had been made to the censorship board about it, and if there’s one way to make people want something, it’s to have a vague threat of censorship dangling over it.
As such, it’s being reprinted in the next week or so, which means you’ll be able to have a copy of your very own, should you feel the need to read cringey sex scenes written by a TD.
The story is about a baby called Laura, who is put up for adoption as she was born to a Dáil secretary named Colette, after a three-month affair with her boss, a married and family values-centric TD called Seán Brannigan. Scandal! The story revolves around the custody battle that ensues when Colette changes her mind about the adoption and is mostly a look at the world of Irish family law. But let’s face it, we don’t care about all that boring legal stuff, we’re just here for the sexy bits.
And because we’re SO HELPFUL here at Beaut.ie, we’re going to take a look at those sexy bits, just for you.
Here we have Seán and Colette getting freaky for the first time on the floor of his office.
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First of all, SHUDDER. “Overflowed on her slender body” are words that will haunt me forever. Secondly, CARPET BURN. I can feel the friction from here. Get off the floor, you weirdos.
Now, I know that was wildly hot stuff for a Thursday, but do try to gather yourselves for the next one. This time, it’s John and Jenny Masterson, the couple who have decided to adopt a baby, celebrating their decision with a ride.
The bottle emptied and the champagne finished, he carried her up the stairs into the bedroom, realizing that they were both slightly drunk. She lay beneath him on the bed, its soft mattress rising and falling as their bodies joined together in passionate celebration of the decision they had made.
If you’ll excuse me, I think my breakfast is rising and falling in horror.
Will you be picking up a copy of Laura when it re-hits the shelves? Or are you reaching for the brain bleach, like me?
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Book images via The Journal and Keep Going Sure It's Grand.
