20 Things You're Guaranteed to Hear Around the Office this Lent

I've always found the concept of Lent to be quite strange. You give up something you like for a few weeks, but with the end goal of over-indulging in that thing. What's frustrating is it's often the least religious people that are the most enthusiastic about participating in Lent. They wouldn't be seen dead in a church (actually, that's the only circumstance in which they will be seen in a church) but they'll give up sweets, crisps and chocolate as soon as the pancakes are done and sugar dusted.

Lent is the exact opposite of Christmas. It's the most dreadful time of the year. Wham didn't write a song about it for a reason. People are moody and their bodies aren't used to the low blood sugar levels. The result is that you'll find yourself and hearing and saying the most ridiculous things, especially in work. So I've been taking notes and here are 20 things that I reckon you are hearing right now in the office.

 Brace yourselves. But stay away from the biscuits. 

There'll be no more of this carry on now, you hear

• "No, I won't have any chocolate thanks, I've given it up for Lent"

• "Yeah but you can cheat on the weekends, especially Sundays"

• "Jesus didn't die up on that cross for you to have a second chocolate éclair, Lynda"

• "Tell you what I'm saving an absolute fortune this month!"

• "Mary, you've a bit of dirt on your forehead, c'mere and I'll give it a wipe"

• "Yeah but what ACTUALLY happens if you eat meat on good Friday?"

• "How well the kids get Easter holidays. Their arses barely touch the classroom chairs and they're home again!!"

• "Is it just me or it Lent early this year?"

• "Dry January followed by Lent? Is it worth living at all girls?"

• "I've my Christmas shopping done already"

• "What does shrove mean? Is it a type of garden tool?"

• "If autocorrect changes Lent to Length one more time I swear to God"

• "Feck it, will we just buy Easter eggs for lunch? I can't do this anymore"

• "If I do one more spinning class my arse is going to fall off"

• "Malteaser Bunnies are the work of the devil"

• "I didn't give up anything because I have a little thing called self control"

• "Specifically where in the bible does it say I can't have a caramel Freddo for forty days?"

• "Better leave early so I can get a head start on not drinking this weekend"

• "It's just the type of weather where you just need to eat everything in sight"

• "Looks like the photocopier has given up working for Lent, same as yourself Maureen hahaha!"

• "I've my Christmas shopping done already"

How have you been getting on with Lent? Let us know what else you've been hearing around the office!

• Friends & Family
• diet & wellbeing
• give up
• lent
• life