Similar to the children’s modelling compound Play-Doh, Twitter is what you make of it. Depending on the accounts you choose to follow, it can be a business tool, means of social networking, instant news source or simply a place to offer various body parts to members of One Direction.
I like to keep my Twitter feed lighthearted and have come across some very funny individuals that help prevent me from ever getting any work done.
If your timeline is getting a bit stale or you simply want to broaden your following, I’ve put together a few recommendations of funny females on Twitter:
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- Maeve Higgins / @maevehiggins
She’s the delightful comedian from Cork, currently living in New York. You might know her from Naked Camera, Fancy Vittles or even her book ‘We Have A Good Time, Don’t We?’ (highly recommended). Maeve’s tweets are consistently entertaining, ranging from general observations, genius wordplay and some good old-fashioned Christmas-cracker-worthy jokes.
Guys I don't know about you but I've always thought of the Spider-Man movies as more of a web series. THANK YOU!
— maeve higgins (@maevehiggins) January 2, 2015
1)See cutie. 2)Get covert photo of his tattoo. 3)Get same tattoo. 4)Introduce yourself. 5)Feign surprise at tattoo coincidence. 6) ????????????????????????????????????
— maeve higgins (@maevehiggins) December 10, 2014
Something I'm planning on saying tomorrow: 'I've pied and gone to heaven' but I'll make it seem spontaneous
— maeve higgins (@maevehiggins) November 26, 2014
- Robin McCauley / @RobinMcCauley
Robin is an artist and comedian from Illinois. Having admittedly arrived a little late to her Twitter brilliance, I can confirm that she is a joy to follow, tweeting a maximum of once a day (so she won’t clutter your feed) and delivering brilliantly funny content. It is a joy to scroll through your Twitter feed and see her possibly Sims-character avatar appear next to 140 laughter-inducing characters.
A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) November 5, 2012
I hate it when I think I'm buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they're just REGULAR donuts.
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) November 10, 2012
Do people who say, "Exercise helps me relax" know about not exercising?
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) May 24, 2013
- Aisling Bea / @WeeMissBea
This Kildare comedian, actress and writer is slowly mooching her way into my top Twitter accounts. Her tweets are generally a laughable stream-of-conscious, writing anything that pops into her head, mixed with excellent live television commentary. Twitter would be a far less interesting place without her strange thoughts filling my timeline.
Sometimes if I feel little under the weather, I remember that there's a kebab van in Bristol called "Jason Donervan" & then I'm okay.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) November 5, 2014
I talk to myself so much during the day that my neighbours think a pair of boring chatty lesbians live beside them.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) June 8, 2014
It's very hard to be a strong empowered woman when most of my fridge magnets suggest I should be a sassy housewife who drinks too much.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) May 1, 2014
- Ruthe Phoenix / @RuthePhoenix
If you’re not already following Ruthe, you mustn’t be on Twitter. Set up an account and follow her immediately. Her highly-amusing snippets of humour throughout the day will more-than-likely keep you sane. Ruthe tweets about everything from the challenges of motherhood, mind-blowingly subtle wordplay to downright intelligently dark humour.
Really worried about my parrot. He keeps saying "I can't go on. I hate my life." My roommate is too selfish to notice. Always busy crying.
— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) May 15, 2014
Ever miss somebody so much that you wonder why you became a sniper in the first place?
— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) May 15, 2014
A good way to alienate people is to paint them green and stick wires on their heads. — Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) May 18, 2014
- Megan Amram / @meganamram
Megan claims the title of being my absolute favourite Twitterer. She’s a comedian and writer from Portland, Oregon. Her tweets are a combination of intelligence and subtle humour, often as simple as a one-liner, sometimes with a dark twist. She attended Harvard, has written for Parks and Recreation and has just released her first book ‘Science…for Her!’ With close to half a million followers, she is a force to be reckoned with.
At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) September 6, 2012
There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 15, 2012
Ten out of one women is a Russian Nesting Doll
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) April 8, 2014
- Mary Charlene / @IamEnidColeslaw
If the magnificent username wasn’t enough to entice you, this American lady has got a serious case of the funnies. In reality she’s a mild-mannered animal hospital receptionist, but on Twitter she can be a foul-mouthed, crass, yet undeniably laugh-out-loud funny. Avoid following this consistently comical Twitterer if you are easily offended!
oh. my. God. Becky. look at her inner beauty — Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) August 21, 2014
took the "Which Disney Princess Are You?" quiz and got Quasimodo
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) June 8, 2014
just found out what sex is. you guys are gross
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) May 31, 2014
- Carol Tobin / @CarolGertrude
l to r: Shanyn Hayden, Carol TobinCarol is an Irish comedian, actress and writer. Her writing has featured on RTÉ Radio 1, The Sunday Independent, Insider Magazine, Huffington Post, Never Underdressed and Irish Pictorial Weekly. If all that wasn’t enough, her Twitter feed is a thing of beauty, with some darkly hilarious gems. Too much talent for one woman!
Most accidents occur in the home when people are rushing to turn Mumford & Sons off the radio. — Christmas Carol (@CarolGertrude) April 11, 2013
My life is made up of days when I take the wet onions out of the kitchen sink & days when I force them down the plug hole with a knife. — Christmas Carol (@CarolGertrude) July 10, 2014
Blackrock College are launching their own aftershave called Scents Of Entitlement. — Christmas Carol (@CarolGertrude) February 21, 2013
- Julieanne Smolinski / @BoobsRadley
Again, her username should be enough to convince you that this female is funnier than should be allowed. Julieanne is a writer and actress, having written for Sirens and Grace and Frankie. Her tweets will produce actual laughter and often the strangest, most hilarious mental images. No area is off bounds and no joke too cruel for her feed.
So my (beloved!) ex-boyfriend's apartment caught fire this year, which was very sad, but Facebook made it worth it. pic.twitter.com/AvU8ifazXa
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) December 29, 2014
I'm against animal testing, unless of course you're testing little top hats and miniature sunglasses.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) January 1, 2014
I think a funny thing to send your kids from your vacation is a post card that says "Wish you were here!" with a picture of an orphanage.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) September 18, 2011
- Megan Nolan / @Megaroooo
pic courtesy of Megan Nolan and Twitter24-year-old Waterford gal Megan is at the beginning of what is sure to be a lengthy and successful writing career. The brutal honesty, social commentary and often self-deprecating humour that she manages to fit into 140 characters is a joy to read. Follow her immediately and enjoy watching her rise to great heights inside and outside of the Twitter world.
Still upset about the time ~5 years ago I sent a screenshot of something with a "how do I do a screenshot" tab visibly open in it — Megan Nolan (@Megaroooo) October 4, 2014
*bangs gavel* Welcome to feminism, first order of business is make sure men know we LOVE them oh my gosh it's truly our most pressing issue — Megan Nolan (@Megaroooo) September 23, 2014
Me and my bf watch different Netflixes in bed together like the accompanying photo to an article about technology destroying relationships — Megan Nolan (@Megaroooo) January 9, 2014
- Jen Statsky / @JenStatsky
Jen is a writer and producer from the US with an impressive CV. She’s written for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Parks and Recreation, Broad City, Hello Ladies and more. Naturally, her Twitter feed more than justifies her incredible career. Her tweets range from everyday girly things to hilariously accurate social commentary. A follow for Jen is essential to complete the perfect Twitter feed.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) February 14, 2013
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) February 21, 2014
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) August 13, 2012
These are just ten funny females that we've compiled in a nice even-numbered and aesthetically-pleasing list. Undoubtedly we've missed many more women that deserve our following. Share your recommendations below!
