I'm seriously considering putting myself forward for the forthcoming local and European elections, running on a single-issue manifesto: banning matte-orange-faced and messy-haired teen clones. What's the deal!?
The southsiders of the species are the worst. Braying, dayglo-d, often over-privileged, they've truly taken the Indo's ridiculous perpetration that SCD is the Orange county of Ireland to heart - not to mention face. Scratch that: ESPecially face.
Northsiders aren't a lot better and are only differentiated by wearing slightly more clobber from Penneys. And possibly having less annoyingly US-ified accents. Though that's debatable. Especially round where I live. "GERROURRAA my FU****NNN wayyyyyyyy," is what you're likely to have barked at you by terrifying pyjama-clad 15-year-olds as you meekly venture to the shop for milk.
Advertised
Truly this horror needs to be stopped in its tracks. My solution? Foundation will only be allowed to under 21s on prescription, blusher classes will be given, hair brushing will become mandatory and illegal sales of any base product that is more than four shades darker than your natural skintone will be dealt with swiftly and unmercifully.
ZERO TOLERANCE, LADIES, ZERO TOLERANCE.
If you were running for election as a Beaut.ieful candiate, what would YOU have on your manifesto?
