What's the worst Christmas gift you ever got?

I'm compiling a list for posterity of the worst Christmas presents ever. We're going to make a list of suggestions to give to people you hate. Or well not even hate - just people you have to give presents to and you couldn't be arsed giving them something decent. Here's just some of the "gifts" I have received over the years:

A book of crosswords with one done
Tweed talc
A box of chocolates with one gone out of it
A scented candle that smelled like poo
An ornament from the Argos catalogue
A bumper makeup set from the pound shop
Ditto a bumper bathing assortment from the pound shop
Ditto anything from the pound shop
A Bic biro (from Kirstie, when she was seven and had selfishly used all her pressie money to see "santy" in the sports shop)
A cheaply rancid bottle of "scent" that brought me out in a rash
A pen with a lady who went nude when you shook it (why give that to ME?!)
A teddy with internal wires that instantly sprang out and deeply scratched me
Knickers two sizes too big (gee thanks, that's what size you think my arse is?? I spent the rest of the day comfort eating)

Tell me yours! Let's make the definitive guide to Things You Don't Want To Get for The Christmas!