Eh, How'yeh, an Election Candidate Speaks Out

Howyez doin' budz? Paul Gogarty here, Green Peeeeeerty repreeesentative for Dubellin mid-west. That's the hoods o Chapelizod and Paaaalmerstowennn, to youse not in the know.

Now, us Greenz'iz famous for being all sustainable and shite, and that's why I look such a feckin' state. Look at me! Would you clock the state o me mop and me threads?  Well, as a Greenenn representative, I am PROUDD to look like this because it shows me committement to sustainable livin'.*

No hair products touch this crop o' follicles, ladies. And me unfashionable clothes are all made by ex prostitutes in kibbutz style free economy shennanigans in Pakistan. All profits remain with the ladies, I am happy to report.

Vote me your number #1 - or I'll come and confiscate all your hairspray, and then where would you be, eh?
*I possibly made all this up