Bubbling Blisters: Why I've Sadly Parted Ways with my Strappy Stilletos Despite What Rihanna Thinks

As I hobbled across town this morning, making a necessary pit stop at a pharmacy on Grafton Street where I was forced to part ways with a staggering €8.45 for a few Compeed plasters (it's a hefty price, I know, but few things work as well for mangled toes. Mind you, another Beaut.ie writer has used them for, eh, other reasons with a lesser degree of success), I made a decision: I cannot, no way no how, endure another night of strappy heels.

On Saturday night (three nights ago and I'm still in pieces), I set off for an evening of frivolity, throwing caution to the wind by stepping into a pair of bright coral heels.

You know the kind, Rihanna's rarely spotted in anything else - one thin strap across the the ankle, one across the toes. They look bloody gorgeous, but what you can't see, for me at least, are the mother of all blisters growing underneath. I'd share a photo but there are certain things in life you cannot unsee.

And the next morning I am left with one big bubbler on my left baby toe, and a blister so large it interrupts my phone signal over on my right big toe. The damage is done, and now there are no shoes, not even Ugg boots, that are in any way comfortable to wear while these water-filled monstrosities do their thing. I couldn't even sleep last night, the pain on my big piggy was so bad.

You hear it all the time; fashion over function. But, really , is it worth it? I say no, certainly not. Is this just me? Am I just one of the unlucky ones whose feet just don't work in heels? Is it because of my cankles? (yes, they're a real thing; it seems I was born without that bit you normally find between a leg and a foot. I even suffer a rare condition I like to call 'sock muffin top', it's really quite tragic). And is Rihanna also in absolute agony but just far far better at hiding it? Are her feet so used to this torture that they're impervious to pain? HOW does she do it?

It was a warm evening, and after a certain amount of time shimmying around in celebration of Pride, my feet had swollen up to near Princess Fiona effect. Of course my boyfriend thought this was hilarious, and proceeded to photograph my blaoted ogre feet for the duration of our taxi journey home. 'Never again', I swore, as he carried me whimpering up the steps to our front door.

The thing about flats though, is that while you'll be far more comfortable, you just never feel quite as sexy. With heels, your legs appear longer, you stand tall with better posture and I'm sure most women will agree that a whopper pair of stilettos have quite the empowering effect.But, sadly, my quest for attractive tootsies has come to an end, and I'm left with two hobbit-esque feet that only Shrek or perhaps Frodo Baggins could love. Waaaah.

If you've come across a pair of strappy shoes that don't compromise your comfort (or at least don't leave your feet blistered within an inch of their lives) then PLEASE, tell me. Or, if you just want to have a moan about your own feet woes then feel free - the floor is yours. Even if you're wearing slippers.