Victoria Beckam: Welcome to America

This was truly dreadful, some of the most cringe inducing television I've watched for a long time. OMG what was she like in this "reality" show.

The first thing that struck me was the attempt to follow the Jessica Simpson model. Jessica Simpson appears on a reality show series, Newlyweds on MTV. Has a handsome husband (debatable but go with me on this one). She is adorably dopey sometimes. Can't cook. Can't pronounce certain words. Is harassed by paparrazi. Etc.

So why can't Posh use this model to make the American public love her? Cue Posh "cooking", pretending to eat, surrounding herself with mates (her hairdresser and her makeup artist), going to parties with clearly insane LA matrons (they were "major" Posh enthused upon returning home), sunbathing, making an appearance at a baseball game, meeting Perez Hilton and interviewing a dogsbody. The main criteria for getting the job as the dogsbody was being a Plain Jane and not anyone David would ever find attractive.

But Posh, it just didn't work. You're not adorable. You're actually not a very nice person are you? That's the impression I got of you anyway. Self obsessed, vain, with ridiculous affectations (the whole high heel thing is just so pathetic).

And her skinny ass poolside! That was the most disturbing thing. PLEASE eat something Posh.