This chicken ball is the last thing I own: Keep your mitts off, SafeFood!

OH SafeFood, how I fear you. Not only have you ruined burgers and made me afraid of my dishcloth, you've now honed in on that most sacred of Irish past-times - the Chinese Takeaway.

Turns out there's more calories in an oul sweet and sour than we should be eating in an entire day and far from being a wee snack to start your meal, prawn crackers are in fact the Devil's greasy fingers.

A portion of egg fried rice will set you back 727 calories while a portion of prawn crackers weighs in at a whopping 608 calories this new survey shows. All in all we're stuffing on average 2,184 calories per Chinese meal into us AND SafeFood says that each takeaway portion is in fact enough food for two people.

Ah Jaysis!

Don't they know there's a recession on? I'm scraping a living any way I can, my husband's wages have been cut to 2005 levels and we even paid the poxy Household Charge - chicken balls are the only good things I have left!

Thing is, even before this study, we all knew a deep fried fast-food meal wasn't good for us, didn't we? Nobody thought it was something we should be cramming into our gobs three times a day. But seeing it there in black and white is a different story, it's pretty scary alright. Why SafeFood, why?!

There are some things in life you just don't want to know - what Enda Kenny looks like in the nip, for example. Or exactly how much less your house is worth now than ten years ago. And how many pigging calories are in the only good thing I have left in my life!

Next thing SafeFood will be telling us it's wrong to have an entire Selection Box for breakfast of a Christmas morning. Well they can shag off. You can take my chicken balls, but you will never take my Crunchies!

Tell us in the comments, will this survey stop you having your favourite take-away meal? And to be serious for a moment, should we be keeping a closer eye on what we put in our mouths?