Tee Hee - Fashion Experts say VB's style tips SUCK

So says the cover of this weeks Now! anyway. Poor Victoria - I guess she thought we'd all benefit from her tips to help us emulate her over-bronzed skellington appearance. But hey, obviously she was wrong.

You lot have a guilty secret - I can tell, in all my techiness, that lots of people visit this site based on using the search terms 'Victoria Beckham' - so that means that there are some people out there who like her. Or maybe, like me, they're just sort of amazed by her. And not in a good way.

For those of you with a slavish devotion to Posh, here are her top ten favourite beauty products. Some of them she does in her arse use - she obviously threw them in so that we'd think she's all down to earth and whatnot. Becuase if I was as rich as her, there is no way I'd be using baby wipes. For anything. Least of all on a baby. I'd be using golden plated frankinsense infused papyrus, or similar.

• Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream
• Intimately Beckham Eau de Toilette
• Dermalogica Multivitamin Power Recovery Masque
• Body Shop Cocoa Body Butter
• La Prairie Cellular Neck Cream
• St Tropez Aero Bronze
• Johnson's Baby Wipes
• Prescriptives Traceless Skin Responsive Tint
• YSL Touche Eclat
• Stila Lip Glaze