True Detective Season Two Finale: What We Thought

After eight weeks of head spinning, soul crushing drama, True Detective finally bowed out of its second season this week in what made for a fairly disappointing finale. We had hoped that things were going forward in a pretty decent direction after the high-stakes action of episode four and five, but nope it whimpered off into the night leaving an over-whelming feeling of dissatisfaction amongst its viewers. Well, that and relief that the whole thing was over and we could all finally stop pretending we understood what the hell was happening.

Seriously, we stopped caring who the hell killed Caspere a long time ago, we even stopped believing that any of them cared either, bar Frank. They just had nothing else going on in their meaningless existences.

The entire ninety-minute finale overall was just grim. Even the post-coital chats at the start were a grim-fest as Ray and Ani compared life horror stories over a cig. Couldn't they just spoon with a bit of an awkward banter and be done with it? And all those back and forth stylistic shots? Give us a break. We get what you're doing True Detective but quit hamming it up so much already.

Our two leads were also faced with the loss of Woodrugh, which was supposed to motivate them on to get justice....we think. Is that because they were all so tight?? Guess a mass shootout will do that to you but overall we struggled to care about Paul's death. It pretty much only happened because he was scared of people finding out he was gay. Come on dude, it's 2015.

Back to the main plot (if you could call it that). We found out pretty early on in the episode that it was one of those kids from the jewelery store robbery back in '92 who murdered Caspere, out of revenge for killing his parents. So far, so Batman. Of course the chain of corruption went much further than that and we were left with a vengeful Frank looking to end it once and for all, and claim what's his.

Himself and Ray headed off into the night - there were big guns, there was intense music and we thought - yeah! Sh*t is about to go down. This is what we have been waiting for. This is going to be the showdown to end all showdowns! But nope, that seemed to just all hammer itself out within about five minutes. Yet it felt like half the episode was given to Frank's trippy walk through the desert when he ultimately died at the hands of the Mexicans. (Yes, the Mexicans, after ALL that.)

Ray decided to have one last check in with that son of his before going on to live his happily ever after with Bezzerides. Of course Ray was never going to get the happy ending though and he soon found himself in a Rambo-style shootout in the forest, where he also met his maker. Although the real bummer of the scene was that his damn voicemail never uploaded. Must be awful Broadband in Vinci.

Ani then sailed off into the sunset with her new do and that Mexican lady who was mad after Ray. We kept waiting for her to push Rachel McAdams off the boat in some jealous rage but nope -nada!

We find out then that the whole thing was essentially for nothing, and everything has pretty much returned to how it was in Vinci. Frank's missus and Ani live in South America now (you could tell because of the street parade, 'cos that's all they do in South America) where the pair of them seem like the best of buds and are raising Ray's baby. Sure ye were better off without them anyways girls.

Ani does of course tell a reporter everything at the end so we are left with some hope that the conspiracies and murders would be revealed, but nothing too solid. And dammit, we devoted eight and a half hours of our lives to this show, we deserved to see the city of Vinci fall at its feet with the corruption of it all.

Perhaps though, it's unfair to be completely scathing about the finale, because in fairness, as typical TV shows go, it wasn't the worst. It is definitely suffering such harsh criticism because it could never really bear the weight of expectation if had on its shoulders after the groundbreaking season one. In many ways it entertained and it definitely had some career defining roles for the likes of McAdams, Vaughn, and of course, Farrell, who was a revelation in his role as Ray Velcoro.

Season two essentially, (and sorry for how crude this sounds) but it got lost so far up its own ass, it couldn't see straight. The hokey dialogue was another gripe of ours and the finale was rife with it; 'Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow' were the actual words uttered by Frank when threatening the Russian dude. And that whole 'I'll be waiting in a white dress for you' lark? Please. Nic Pizzolato you are better than that.

After eight episodes filled with endless names of folk we still don't remember, and random irrelevant side stories....(can anyone actually tell us who Stan was??? Actually don't bother, we still don't care), True Detective bowed out on more of a whimper than a bang. The biggest twist was probably that the red-head kid was actually Ray's son. I mean, who would have thunk it?!

Will True Detective be back for a season three? Probably.

Will we watch? Sigh... probably.

Did you watch the finale? What did you think? To the comments!