Reasons NOT To Send Your Daughter To College: Makes Reasonable, Enlightened Argument

It can be quite entertaining to look back on outdated advice every so often and marvel at just how hilariously misguided and outrageously sexist things were back in the day. Things like Dr. Reuben’s Everything You Always Wanted To Know about Sex proclaiming that menopausal women have outlived their usefulness as human beings or Esquire’s 1949 Handbook for Hosts warning against the dangers of having a personality or knitting are an absolute hoot to read through and laugh at.

They are, however, from a bygone time when people weren’t quite as enlightened and when women’s perceived purpose was to tend to their husband’s delicate flower of an ego and pop out babies while making apple tarts. Unfortunately, there are always some dickbags who yearn for the days when ladies were uneducated baby-making factories chained to the kitchen sink.

A super-Catholic American website called Fix The Family recently posted a list called “Reasons To NOT Send Your Daughter to College”. Originally there were only six reasons, but then the list was updated to add two more, because this guy just couldn’t keep a lid on his amazing and much-desired thoughts on the subject. The list basically boils down to the idea that women are supposed to be housewives and that college is only intended for men. Seriously. I should add that this site has also posted articles with titles such as “The Pill is an Abuse of Women”, just to give you an idea of the type of logic and reason we’re dealing with here.

Here are some of the best (i.e. most terrible) reasons:

She will be in a near occasion of sin

“Is a degree worth the loss of your daughter’s purity, dignity, and soul?” wails the author, tears splashing into his Padre Pio mug. Having fun of any kind will taint you for life, you see. And getting trollied on Fresher’s Week is a sure-fire way to be branded a fallen woman. So it’s best to make sure that your perfect, unsullied daughter is kept well away from people and society and the world in general, lest she become a rampaging cockmonster.

She will not learn to be a wife and mother

Nothing that is taught in a college curriculum is geared toward domestic homemaking.

Now look here, female students. You’d better stop with all this “ambition” and “career” nonsense and you’d be more in your line attending classes on hoover-wrangling, slipper-fetching and how to time a dinner so it’s ready right when your husband comes home from his Big Important Job That You Wouldn’t Understand.

You don’t have to prove anything to the world

Society is so fixated with the feminist ideal of women having to have a job and provide an income to have worth.

Ah yes, it’s SOCIETY’S fault that girls aspire to have jobs, be independent and be really good at something, they don’t actually want any of these things themselves. They just want to get married and knocked up as quick as they possibly can, they just don’t REALISE it.

It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents

Ok, this “near occasion of sin” stuff is some clumsy-ass writing, but what this point is all about is that fact that college costs money and having to spend money on selfish education-crazed daughters might prevent parents from having more children and may lead to them – gasp! – using contraception. Dammit, parents! Get down to baby-making business already and stop securing your existing daughter’s future!

She will regret it.

We are not surprised that more and more women are coming forward to tell their stories of regret for having by-passed the more meaningful things in life to opt for the approval of feminists who cared nothing more about them than being statistics to reinforce their agenda.

Those lousy, jack-booted feminists, barging into these poor women’s homes and physically dragging them into higher education. How bloody rude.

The post goes on to defend its laughable position by claiming:

Today, anyone can learn anything they want with the vast library system across the country and with the easy access of the internet.

You see, ladies? Who needs college when you’ve got Wikipedia!

The entire article is just crazypants and one ridiculous claim after another. One thing is for certain though, the guy who wrote it is a tool of the highest order. Thankfully, every comment underneath it is basically tearing the entire thing to shreds, so there's no need to lose faith in people being decent just yet. Which is a relief.