My name is Fat Frog and I live in a swamp: water retention and that horrible bloated feeling

Bloated, queasy feeling? Can't get ridofit of it....

Yes, I am that fat frog from the Motilium ad. I go through packets of the stuff and spend my half my life feeling as though I'm carrying around about ten pounds of excess water.

I have two sizes of jeans in the wardrobe. Fat jeans and normal jeans - because there are some days I just can't get into my normal size without an overhang you could balance your cup of tea on. My weight on the scale can jump by four pounds depending on what time of the month it is.

Women suffer from bloated queasy feeling all the time and it's got nothing to do with too many bags of chips. Well okay, maybe some of it does. A lot of it is connected to the menstrual cycle and the hormonal swings that cause water retention and just plain old bloatedness. In my case, certain medications I've been on have made me balloon up like a bullfrog - and the day after a night on the tiles sees me looking as though all those glasses of wine are still in me. And have had children and multiplied. Fizzy drinks are not good - and beer instantly makes me look like (and belch like) a truck driver. And good old tea is a red flag. Tea!

It's such a miserable feeling and I've tried tons of things in the past with varying degrees of success - a good old detox and cutting out all the crap is always a sure thing. But so boring! You can't live your life like that. Have a read of the Detox category to have a look at some of the things we've tried. I'm now taking a probiotic supplement that I've heard works wonders, it's too early to tell if it will do any good but I'm filled with hope.

What about you - do you get this crappy bloatedness? And if you do have you found anything that works?