Mr Hipster And King Of The Boardroom: How Beards Betray The Working Man

It used to be that if you wanted to know more about the man, you looked at his footwear. Converse, Italian leather, lace-up, slip-on or hi top, you could hazard a guess at a gentleman’s profession from his sweaty shoes.

Well, we have a new identifier in our tool kit. In honour of Movember, Remington (maybe ‘tis the razor company, maybe ‘tis Steele) recently released their FH100 (that’d be Facial Hair 100) study, showing that the facial hair of a man can tell us what job he does.

So next time you are sitting at the bar and wondering if Fachtna really is the rock star he introduced himself as, keep the findings below in mind.

Their investigations show that our brethren (and hell, maybe some sistren) are crafting their facial fur into shapes that they believe match their professions and lifestyles.

The results divided the men into six types - Mr Hipster, King of the Boardroom, The Academic, Sporting Stubble, Wordsmiths and The Everyman. The results showed that the length and shape of facial hair each type prefers varies remarkably.

So hair we go (sorry):

• Mr Hipster: This set contains the musicians, actors and advertising execs, with an average of 71% of this lot sporting facial hair. This rampant furriness makes me happy!
• King of the Boardroom: Clean-shaven is the word, only 24% of office workers brave the beard to any degree.
• The Academic: In a revelation that goes against the mad professor image, only 27% of teachers shun the razor.
• Sporting Stubble: 88% beardy. So much for the aerodynamic leg and face shaving.
• Wordsmiths: A lowly 20% of authors and journalists sport the fuzz. Colour me miffed with this result.
• The Everyman: Better than the wordsmiths but still only 44% ignoring the blades.

Beards divide us here at Beaut.ie but love ‘em or hate ‘em, we’ve all agreed that in Brad Pitt’s case we really should hold him down and groom Angelina’s monkey.

Take a look around your office and ponder the fur of the men in your life. Do they fit in with the Remington Steele report? And isn’t Pierce Brosnan only great for helping put it together. I think he did the stapling.

So fuzzy faces are part of the uniform of certain jobs. And I for one am very pleased with that fact. But if you don’t have the hirsute chops for this, what is the unofficial uniform where you work? What do you haul out of the wardrobe and the makeup drawer in the morning?

Are you always smart casual in trousers, shirt and a slick of lippie or are comfort and warmth the cornerstones of your daily wardrobe? Does your colleagues adhere to the same tribal wear? Or have you mastered the handlebar moustache? To the comments!