Drunk Dialling: call 999 and get them to take me away

I read the post on auto-correct issues with equal parts amusement and shame. For you see, I am the queen of these unintentionally filthy texts. As they're accidental, they can be quickly forgiven.

The real devil in the phone fail world is the conversations that ensue after a few beers.

My most mortifying drunk dial moment was ringing my ex a few days after we'd broken up. I'll break the ice, I thought, actually stay friends this time, it'll be GRAND. Stumbling out to the smoking area, I fumbled around with my phone and held it to my swaying head. Did I end up laying the foundations for a mature friendship?

Did I feck. The ex was in bed. In bed with a girl. How do I know? Because, after some small talk, the ex passed the phone to the girl and gifted me the most awkward conversation I have ever had in my life.

After that incident, I learned if you're not legal to drive, you're not safe to call. Still, it's okay to bask in the hilarity of other people's booze-induced texts - all the fun, none of the mortification.

So, let us know, what has been your finest drunk dial, incoming or outgoing and have you learned to keep your phone out of your left hand when there's a wine in your right?