Celebrity showdown; Pharrell; Will.i.am in ludicrous I AM lawsuit

Ah, celebrities. They’re really not like us regular people, are they? Earlier this week, it came to light that Pharrell Williams (who may or may not have a haggard and ageing portrait of himself stashed in an attic somewhere) and the annoyingly spelled Will.i.am are embroiled in a legal battle over a YouTube channel that Pharrell has set up. And why is that? Oh, only for the most ridiculous and hilarious reason OF ALL TIME.

You see, Pharrell’s new venture is named “I am Other”, so when Will heard about it, he sent a cease and desist because he appears to believe that he owns the words “I am”. For real. No wait, I AM FOR REAL. Take that, Will.you.are!

Not one to be cowed, Pharrell is now suing Will, in order to stop him from stopping him. And just when you think it couldn’t get any more amazing or silly, it turns out that Pharrell is using the work of Dr. Seuss as part of his argument. YES!

Pharrell says Will is using the "I Am" is a Seussian way — as a playful riff on his own name — and to hammer home his point, he quotes from Green Eggs and Ham:

"Sam I am
I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am"

Pharrell continues in his suit, "In contrast, the I Am Other mark means 'I am something else,' leaving what that 'else' is to the imagination of the consumer. It certainly does not mean 'I am Will.'"

We can only presume that Pharrell was wearing a giant red and white striped hat at the time.

This is hands-down my favourite celebrity lawsuit of all time. The whole thing is just so funny. You don’t own the words “I” and “am”, Will! He’d be as well off trying to copyright sneezing.

The Will Smith film I Am Legend must have made him furious. Although he would have been delighted with the local paper in my hometown, as they printed the name of it as “I’m A Legend” in the cinema listings, a fact that still makes me giggle six years later.

Anyway. We can only wait and see who will emerge victorious in this battle for words that are literally used every day.

The cat in the hat could not be reached for comment.