SS09 Hair Trends: Cut Your Fringe With A Rusty Toenail Clippers, sez Dior

Ah here, I dunno why we do ever be worrying about taking trips to the hairdresser every couple of weeks to have our fringes trimmed and kept in order. That business of having a neat, tidy looking fringe is just so last season, dahlings! At the Christian  Dior Spring Summer ’09 show, models were sent down the runway with fringes that looked distinctly like they'd been hacked at by an elderly arthritic monkey plagued by cataracts wielding a blunt knife.

To recreate the look at home, you should first take a hot shower or bath. Make sure all the mirrors in your bathroom get nice and steamy as a result; it is absolutely imperative that you not have a clear view of what you're doing when the time comes to actually start trimming. Haven't time to run some steam-inducing water? Not to worry, a decent dollop of Vaseline smeared across your chosen reflective surface will do the trick nicely. If you wear glasses or contact lenses, remove them. If you are blessed with the miracle of perfect vision, stand well back from the mirror. Then, using a breadknife, nail clippers, hacksaw or similar, cut random lumps of varying lengths and widths out of your fringe.

Mwah, mwah, faaaabulous - now you're bang (ho ho) on trend!

(PS: I recommend having a nice big wooly hat on hand before trying this one.)