Palmers Cocoa Butter Natural Bronze Lotion Review: A great walloping disappointment

There are two kinds of people in this world where old skool body moisturiser Palmers Cocoa Butter is concerned. There are those who cannot get enough of it, love the smell of it, and are sorely tempted to take a bite out of themselves every time they apply it, and then there are those who absolutely cannot bear its sweetly chocolately scented ways.

Although I don't wear it all the time and do sometimes find it overpowering, I am usually shacked up in the first camp: in addition to The Smell it's mega hydrating, cheap as chips, and widely available in pharmacies and supermarkets for just a few quid.

So when I was on the hunt for a new body moisturiser in Boots last week and spotted that there's now a version of Palmers Cocoa Butter with added gradual tanning benefits, well, you know I had to try it. The combination of a moisturiser loaded with cocoa butter and vitamin E and a gradual tanner sounded like a total win-win:

"With just a touch of self tanner, Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Natural Bronze creates a delicate, sun kissed, summer glow all year long. Gradually build a subtle tan within a few days, while deeply moisturising your skin. From fair to medium to dark, control the intensity of your skin tone all year round."

Application of the rich, off-white lotion was business as usual, but within a couple of hours the familiar cocoa smell was joined by the unwelcome and unmistakable aroma of developing fake tan. It's a lot more whiffy than the other gradual tanners I've tried, and the results are considerably darker than others, too.

After one use, my wrists bore the tattle-tale build-up that signals a fake tan job - not usually a big problem with moisturising gradual tans that are supposed to be come up slowly with the application of daily layers - and I wasn't at all enamoured with the colour, which I thought looked a little bit orange in daylight.

I don't think I'll be trying it again.