Oh Veet, Let Me Count The Ways

...let me count the ways I HATE YOU:

1. you stink
2. you're incredibly messy
3. it's impossible to wash you off my hands, you stay there like a gross greasy film despite repeated scrubbings
4. you actually DON'T WORK. At all. Frazzled bits of hair remaining on legs does not count as effective hair removal, just to let you know
5. I'm still recovering from the chemical burns I got the last time I foolishly used you

In summary, if Veet was a man, you'd dump him.