NYC Skin Matching Luminizer Foundation: For the Love of God, Whose Skin is it Matching?

I'm a big advocate of pharmacy cosmetic brands. They frequently bring out affordable products that make me feel like I'm not missing out on the quality of terrifyingly expensive (but often lovely) high-end brands that are not always very attainable.

So I'd very much like to be able to love this new foundation from NYC, which you can own for an incredibly reasonable €4.49. The problem is that the price isn't reasonable if the product isn't good, and it just isn't. Here's my beef with it-

The texture is horrifying. As you can see from the swatch photo, it makes the skin on my arm (which isn't actually dry), look like an arid Saharan plain. I almost expected to see tiny, dehydrated elephants migrating across my arm to a better life. It also made a charming feature of any little bumps or textured areas on my skin. Look everyone, I have a spot, or several! No, I say. Just no.

I've swatched the foundation thickly so that you can get a good image of the shades. In the image, you can see the limited shade range - this is understandable in a pharmacy foundation and would be very forgiveable if the formulation was good. Even when I applied a little, it was thick, streaky and so drying. The coverage is very unnatural but the shades are perfect. IF you're dressing up as Marty Morrissey for Halloween. No human this side of the Atlantic could be matched to these shades unless there's some seriously suspicious false tan going on.

If you're visiting Ireland from your native Brazil, then welcome, and may you and your glorious, toffee-toned skin have joy of this foundation. Everyone else can look forward to orangutan face.

Finally, it smells like the drawer in which my granny kept pot pourri. Acrid, overwhelming floral notes will besiege your crispy Saharan face all day long. You can smell it from a distance. People smelled this from my face when I was wearing it. 'Nuff said.

Has anyone tried this? And, far more importantly, is anyone dressing up as Marty Morrissey for Halloween?