Nuts roasting on an open fire... unlikely underpants promo

Annnnd this week's Bonkers Email prize goes to... Equmen

In a missive so packed with smut that even I sat up and took notice, we were promised that these underpants would Wrap ‘The Package’ Properly this Christmas; that we could deck the halls with balls; and let those nuts roast away on an open fire.

Sounds painful. His sex would really be on fire eh?

Furthermore body temperature will be controlled to keep "the boys" at optimal temperature and - this is the worst bit - moisture will be "managed."

Ewwwwwww.

We had a look at these yokes before, but these belly busting man-spanx merchants have returned to our inboxes with this new pitch. These jocks promise to trim away three inches from any manly torso too. Is there nothing they can't do?

So tell me: is this something you'll be slipping into his stocking?