Mwah mwah: I kissed a girl and I didn't like it. Irish people - don't airkiss

He moved in for the kiss.

And I panicked.

Turning my cheek in a knee-jerk reaction in an attempt to deflect the kiss I got it full on the lips.  It was firm.  It was juicy.  And it was wet.

"Oh ho ho" we both said stepping back in horror.  He was a generation removed from me and we were having a business meeting.  He was friendly and avuncular and in no way intended for this kiss to become a full blown smacker, turning both of us crimson, with the memory of it lingering like wet spittle.  As he wiped off lipgloss I gulped strong coffee.

Why do Irish people  suddenly feel the need to kiss upon meeting?  Why on earth did we take up this ridiculous kissing habit - does it make us more cosmopolitan, more sophisticated?

No. No it does not.  It just makes us feel awkward and ridiculous.  Unless I'm meeting friends or someone I actually want to kiss I really think it's inappropriate.  And don't  get me started on the double kiss.

When I saw the God awful attempts to kiss on Come Dine With Me Cork there was not a part of me that did not die inside in sympathy.

A good firm handshake and a friendly hello has always served us well until now.  What do you think - love this kissing lark or does the very thought of it bring you out in heart palpitations?

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