Morto: Irish Foundation Tidemark is International Makeup Artist Joke

At Lancome's recent makeup party in Paris, I was introduced to several of their international makeup artists. These guys travel the highways and byways of the globe, representing the brand at events and in-store and they are all remarkably good at what they do, effortlessly making the attendant bloggers up with products from the new range.

As I was introduced to one of them, he craned his head around to the back of my neck - I thought he was looking at my earrings - and announced in surprise, "but you don't have a foundation mark! You said you were Irish!?" Me, baffled and bamboozled: "eh, well, we don't ALL wear orange foundation, you know," to which he responded by roaring across the room to his colleagues, "she says it's true! Irish women all wear dark foundation!"

Cue the whole room turning to stare as I was unable to sink any lower in the rock-hard chair upon which I was squirming like a hooked fish. So, it's apparently not just us who've noticed our occasional lapse as a nation into shit-brown base that really doesn't work on our skintones ... because now groups of people in Paris find it hugely amusing too.

I rounded a spirited defense and told them it was, naturally, all their fault. "We're generally very pale," I said, "and so you should be making very light colours to suit us. I mean, if we don't have the right shades what do you expect women to do?"

Smug, I sat back, safe in the knowledge that my foundation of choice was Nars. Ha!

Anyway I forgave him entirely when he made me look all gorgeous with the new teal lovelies from the spring summer collection, but it was a salutory lesson, ladies. We risk an inter-EU mocking which could turn into a diplomatic incident involving a face-off between Brian Cowen's missis and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy if we don't make some attempt to compliment our skintone. And we'd better try - cos I think I have an inkling who'd win in that particular battle of the politico-wives.