Less Than Three Weeks to Go And Not a Child Washed in the House: Getting in Shape for Christmas

YIKES.

Christmas madness is definitely upon us.  In less than three weeks, we'll be satiating ourselves with an orgy of turkey, sprouts, stuffing and Quality Streets. No ham this year, sadly. There's LDBs to fit into, décolléte, arms and cleavage to show off, and sure some of you might want to show a bit of leg and all.  What to do? I have gallantly researched two solutions for you, which, while expensive, may help with the firmin' n' tonin' n' sleekin' n' suckin' so many of us try to get done in December.

SOLUTION ONE
Mama Mio Bootcamp for Butts is a month-long programme that's "a complete bottom and thigh skincare and exercise system to lift your butt in 30 days". And how, pray tell?  The kit contains instructions for two special glute and hamstring exercises, which you must do each day. After that, you use a body buffer three times a week; a tummy toner once a day and a daily Shrink to Fit cream which helps to tone and tighten skin and reduce cellulite.

The 'slebs are mad about it, apparently, with Christina Aguilera, and, er, Tori Spelling rating it highly.  The cost of such wonderment? €140, a bit of a stretch. But if your arse is in grand nick, there's also a Bootcamp for Boobs version too, which retails at €85. Where to purchase? Through beautygiftsireland.com (where until December 15th you'll get 20% off if you quote beaut.ie on the order form), at Alchemist Earth, Limerick, Bump and Beyond, Swords plus selected stockists nationwide, phone 01 4610 645 for a full listing.

SOLUTION TWO
Dr Murad's Firm and Tone Regime has been on my radar for some time. Not just about applying lotions and massage, this guy is serious about cellulite and believes it's all down to weaknesses in the cell walls, which lead to that awful lumpy skin we hate so much. So his aim is to strengthen the skin from the inside and part of that involves taking special supplements, delivered in daily packs. A diet rich in organic foods, eggs and vegetables and fruits is what works, he says, alongside the use of targeted products like his Firm and Tone scrub, a body serum and vitamin c firming cream.

Nicolette Sheridan from Desperate Housewives is said to be a fan, and in fact all his skincare rates highly on the celebrity scale - because it performs. So you're going to be looking at an outlay for this stuff. The supplement packs cost €149.25 for one month's supply, and the Firm and Tone Regime, including the scrub, serum and cream, is an 8-week programme that costs €146.25.

Buy at selected salons and spas nationwide, like Carter Beauty in Dun Laoghaire, or online at murad.ie.