Essence's Hello Autumn Collection: Sit Down, You'll Need a Cup of Tea

Autumn is officially here. And yes, that's one of the smellier facts you'll read today. But there are always autumn collections to cheer you up a bit, and our friends at essence have some beautiful offerings in rich autumnal hues. It features two particularly impressive - and, as usual, incredibly affordable - eye palettes.

Warm, cosy browns are the main feature of this palette. It graduates from warm vanilla, through gold and warm beige all the way to rich chocolate. This will suit absolutely everyone, and transition wonderfully from day to night.

Though this collection does feature some genuinely lovely products, the palettes are the stars of the show.

I'm impressed by the shade range and opacity - these are a perfect affordable treat for payday. Despite the image, the above palette actually graduates from pale gold to khaki shades and through to black - it's perfect for this time of year.

And at €4.79 each, you could happily indulge yourself to both palettes and still have change from a tenner. I suggest you spend it on Haribo fizzy cola bottles, but I won't be upset if you'd prefer a Snickers.

We love a good eyebrow kit, and this little gem is absolutely lovely. This comes in two versions for blondes and brunettes, and it costs €3.09! Your mammy wouldn't approve of you wasting money on extravagant makeup (you know she's the voice in your head saying 'thirty euro for that ol' thing!?')  so buy seven of these instead.

This strange blush only comes in one shade because it adapts to the PH of your skin to create a custom colour. The idea is cute, but I like to CHOOSE the colour my cheeks are. In fact, I think that's entirely the purpose of blush in the first place. That said, this costs €3.09, so I'll buy three 'just in case'.

This eye pencil costs €1.89 and comes in autumnal brown and green shades. What more do I even need to say? *jams pockets with eyeliners* What!?

Oh man. This lip cream comes in this Bordeaux Red shade and a shade that I want based on its name alone - Nude Rose.  If my editor is reading this - Hi, please just send my wages to essence's German HQ, thanks. This is €2.49, and the prices are clearly making me lose my reason a bit. Normal Laura would usually tell you to head in, swatch, and have a think. I'm telling you to BUY ALL THE THINGS AND RUB THEM INTO YOUR FACE!

The excitement of writing this review is tiring me out. Hang on while I make a cup of tea...

Alright. So look at this.

God, it's pretty. Now, you mustn't eat it just because it looks delicious; I learned the hard way. So while the folks at essence work on the TERRIBLE flavour of this face powder, you'll have to stick to putting it on your face. Dust a fluffy brush through it for a glowy highlight, or give yourself a bit of a bronze hue by focussing around the circumference where the darker shade is when you're sweeping your brush through this. It will cost you all of €4.09.

So these polishes change hue slightly with the temperature. That's a bit gimmicky, I'm not hugely into it. But if you like nude polishes, there is a fecking lovely one in this collection, and I mean, what kind of human being would I be if I didn't tell you that?  An awfully selfish kind, that's what. They're €2.49. I mean, JAYSUS HELP US!

Okay, so now you have only to avoid my problem - which is that you're not actually saving money at all because you fill your basket to the brim by buying the whole collection. It's available from now until the end of October.

What do you think? I'm exhausted after that; I need another cup of tea.

To the comments!