Do you frequently have to field queries about whether you're feeling alright? Are random men forever telling you to “give us a smile” or “cheer up, love; it might never happen” or “it can't be that bad” or asking for a punch “why the long face?”
Then, my friend, it is quite likely that you are afflicted by Bitchy Resting Face (BRF).
BRF is a condition that affects millions of women worldwide. The facial features of sufferers tend naturally towards the scowling, frowning end of the expressions spectrum, meaning that even if they're nice people who are perfectly relaxed and content and thinking about, say, fluffy kittens, or Henry Cavill, they still look like complete and utter weapons.
Some completely relevant and non-gratuitous photos. You're welcome.I should know: as a BRF sufferer I have occasionally shocked myself with the realisation that the sour hatchet-faced wagon glaring at me on the Tube was actually my own reflection in the window.
So I was delighted (not, of course, that anyone could tell) when I saw this informative public service announcement that hopes to raise awareness of the little-understood phenomenon that is BRF.
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Anna Paquin is the first celebrity to come out as a BRF sufferer, and her admission on Jimmy Kimmel Live will hopefully help many other women to realise that they are not alone in having “F-off” faces. (At the time of posting, Victoria Beckham and Kristen Stewart had not issued any public statements on the subject.)
Anna Paquin bravely demonstrates her BRF for Jimmy Kimmel.Still, there's a lot to be said for having a Bitchy Resting Face. People are reluctant to sit beside you on public transport, even though you've thoughtfully put your bags on your lap rather than on the seat beside you. And you're unlikely to find yourself being chatted up for the entirety of a flight and subsequent bus journey into London by a Hungarian bloke who not-so-subtly suggests a ride in the jacks. This kind of thing happens my sister all the time, and when she moaned about it recently and wanted to know why random strangers constantly try to engage her in conversation while I get left in peace, I told her straight out.
It's because she looks nice and approachable since her face naturally relaxes into a bit of a smile, whereas more often than not I look like kind of a bitch. Simple as that.
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I've encouraged her to work on her bitch face and given her some pointers, but honestly I'm afraid she'll have to put up with people ignoring the universal please-leave-me-alone signals of reading or having headphones in because she looks friendly for the rest of her life.
I'll take Bitchy Resting Face over unwanted chats with oddballs any day, thanks.
