"What is that?" said himself entering the room in the middle of X Factor.
"Justin Bieber" I said.
"You mean it's a fella? But it sounds like a girl. And it looks like a girl."
"HE" I corrected "Is a teen pop sensation. Discovered on You Tube by Usher, he has taken the pop world by storm. Beloved of zillions of girl fans worldwide."
Yes, for those of you wondering, those were my exact words - I do like to talk in this fashion.
"The miming though" he said. "It's worse than when Britney Spears was on."
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"That's so he can concentrate on dancing Michael Jackson stylee" I defended.
"He can dance" Himself admitted.
"He's an AMAZING dancer" I agreed.
But I know we were both thinking it. What's going to happen to Justin Bieber when his voice breaks? It's the fear that dare not speak its name. He's apparently working with voice coaches to delay the inevitable - but it's going to happen unless they put him on some serious drugs.
Obviously though something is stirring in them thar trousers of his, because he made eyes and cheeky remarks at Cheryl. So there might not be much time left before Bieber becomes a man - and then where will we be?
Twitter and You Tube instantly exploded into madness and ranting as the pro and anti Bieber commenters wasted no time in flinging insults at each other - with the pro-Bieber camp all roughly sounding like this:
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Shut UP u haterz!!! Justin Biber is HOT and sexe and Iv had a BEIBERGASM!!! okthanxbi xoxox :)
Oh dear.
