Twink, zip up your makeup bag, you and me need to have a little chat. Oh, and while you're at it, put away that trowel you've been using to put it on with too. Now Twink, don't look at me like that - I know it's hard for you to make facial expressions with that amount of foundation and powder on your face but I can tell by the steely look your eyes there (despite the fact they're completely weighed down by eye shadow) that you're not going to like what I have to say.
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Twink, Gem of Ireland's Panto Scene - you're not on stage now. You're out standing in a field (see what I did there, eh?). So why on earth have you enough eyeliner on to be seen from the upper circle of the Gaiety (not to mention outer space)? Why have you outlined your lips with a dark liner and filled in the rest with a different coloured lipstick? Are you channelling the spirit of Caroline from BB1? If so, arrange an exorcism, STAT.
