Friendless!!

[Principessa]

pinkrose, there is talk of a meet-up, details here - viewtopic.php?f=7&t=6816

the last beaut.ie meet-up came about because so many beaut.ies were feeling exactly as you do, so you are not alone.

[EllieSausage]

Hi Pinkrose,
I'm new here...and the reason i'm here is that i too am (almost) friendless...I can totally relate to what you said in your post and your situation. I too feel like i rely too much on my boyfriend and need to become more independant.
The long and the short of it is that i really only have two real friends-both at opposite ends of the country...it is rare that we get to meet up..prob only 2/3 times a year..so on a day to day basis i've got my work ''friends''-(people i do not see outside of working hours) and my boyfriend. It has started to get me down too alot lately..i don't have all the answers..or any answers for that matter, as i'm feeling just as lost as you are.
I definitly intend on starting an evening class when September comes around, if anything just to get me out of the house in the evenings...even if i don't make any friends(i'm super shy too..and completely awkward around new people..find it difficult to make new friends) at least i can feel like i tried..and if anything it may make me feel better going out and actually doing something instead of being glued to the tv,reading books & surfing the net every single night!
So to answer your question..YES there are others out there like you, but unfortunately i don't have that magic answer we are looking for....I've been hurt by so many people during my life (especially so called 'friends') that its hard to put myself out there again...as i'm afraid of getting hurt again...so i suppose the simple answer was to just withdraw from the social scene, stop trying and i figured life would be easier without high maintenance friends..and in a way it is.. although there is a price to be paid..and that is that i feel lonely and isolated alot of the time.

So here is to a new beginning for Ellie Sausage...plan...1)Acquaintences wedding in a month-mingle, enjoy & reconnect with old/current acquaintences i haven't seen in a long time 2)Buy stunning outfit for said wedding to make me look & feel better about myself 3)Start evening course in Sept & hopefully meet some new people & feel better about myself!

Anyone else have any other suggestions to add to my plan of action???

Pinkrose, I hope you feel better knowing that there are others out there with the same problem, it always makes me feel better to think about those who are worse off then us.. just think.. we both have boyfriends we can rely on...things could be a hell of alot worse!x

[Pinkrose]

Hi tcup
Its nice to know others have been threw the same thing and come out the other side, at least you have your two friends who u completely trust it must be great to have some1 you can tell your problems to. I've never been on the blather whats that? never run before im a bit of a powerwalker though might be interested in that though. I would love to join groups and things but being in the last yr of my degree its hard to join things while im so busy but after this year i will be up for everything lol!
Thanks for the help!!

[Pinkrose]

Hi Principessa
Thank you so much will check it out later!!

[Pinkrose]

Hi EllieSausage Again lol
I feel your pain!! My only friends would have been in Kerry i now live in Dublin and i've pretty much lost contact with them now
Also very down at the moment about that fact i love my bf but i want a girly friend to go out wit g shopping with and to be honest just have a drink and a gd chat bout gossip and that kinda thing its so upsetting being alone! I'm completely the same shy and i to am rely awkward lol i come outta myself wen i no a person but i find it hard to even make that step cause i would hate to turn up somewhere alone!
Totally agree with high maintenance friends i've had them in the past and probly half the reason we've drifted My problem is i'm between ages right now and thats the most frustrating thing im still in my early 20's and all alone and its such a difficult age to find friends.
Love your new beginning plan sounds great!! i would start an evening class as well but as i said im in my last yr of my degree and just don't have the time but next yr im so joinin 1 maybe a cookery!!
Thanks for the talk and advice!! anytime u want to chat im around on here u sound like a lovely person and i rely hope it works out for you!
Your right about it could be worse i agree and am thankful for what i have x

[EllieSausage]

Hey Hunny.. again, again,again!!!

As for the friends thing....i know its rough, its tough and its horrible, BUT just think..the few friends we both have got are treasures...who we can completely trust and be honest with!...I honestly believe that MOST of the people we know with big groups of friends can't trust all their 'friends' and are actually very needy,attention seeking people who are usually(from my experience) completley insecure!..so really they are just like us..lonely.. but with lots of people around them who they have to 'maintain' so they will remain friends with them..and we both know that friends who are high maintenace are not really friends.. they are just people we happen to know.

A true friend will answer your call after 12 months without contact and will still want to speak to you, a true friend will answer your phone call in the middle of the night and listen to your problems, and a true friend will help you & advise you but will always let you make your own decisions in life!

So don't worry that you don't have lots of people around you, they are just people...the ones that matter are the ones you know and trust! Take Care hunny!

PS..sorry about blathering on..i always tend to blather...but thinking about the above mentioned stuff always make me feel better, and i hope it makes you feel better too!

[Pinkrose]

Hey EllieSausage,
I agree with everything you said and it did make me feel better thank you, i especially agree with high maintenance people.
I'm glad that you have your close friends, unluckily for me at the moment i don't even have that all i ave is my BF lol that sounds so boring lol.
anyways hope your well, and feel free to blather anytime LOL x

[jellies]

Hi!

Just going to jump into this conversation as I'm going through the exact same thing. Most of my friends have moved away, and the ones that havnt have moved on. I was meant to be having some 'friends' over my 'best friends' birthday tonight, but instead shes cancelled because she's to hungover from being out last night. This would be fine, but it was actually her birthday a month ago and this about the 5th time she's cancelled. I don't blame her for having other friends, but i wish she could have them and me to. but what can ya do, ive tried explaining how i feel to her but she dosnt seem to get it. I've felt pretty friendless for ages now, and everytime I go onto facebook and see everyone else havign fun with there friends I get a bit upset. It seems to be knocking my confidence to as when I meet people (i tried an evening class!) now I feel way more concious of myself and worry about what they think of me. I have no suggestions for either of you, just wanted to let you know that seeing your messages to each other made me feel a little less alone.

x

[Pinkrose]

Hi Jellies,
I hope your friend arranges something with you soon! i know how you feel it is really upsetting!!
Maybe we should set up a lonely friendless club lol!

[EllieSausage]

Hey Ladies,
...Welcome to the conversation Jellies!..its not exactly the 'cool corner'!!..but hey at least we can be honest with one another!

Jellies.. i too feel your pain about facebook.. its like everyone else out there has LIVES & Friends & is having FUN..and i'm here at 10.30pm on a Sat night with nothing better to do then go on this forum(not that i'm complaining..i'm glad its here!) while everyone else is out taking photos of themselves for tomorrows Facebook status!!!

Maybe a lonely friends club is the answer!!!..wish there was a chat function on here so we could all have a chat without the whole forum knowing how lonely, boring & isolated we feel!

So how did the whole evening class thing go?...was it horrible altogether???...cos if it was and i'm gonna feel uncomfortable then i might just give it a pass?????

xxxEllieS