Poor you! that sounds tough alright. Now onto my advice
I'm just going to put it out there, and it may sound harsh (apologies in advance
) but i suggest distancing yourself from these so called college "friends". I know thats a bit crude but hear me out. You said "I have "friends" in college but we never really hang around out of it as they already have there friends and i never really got on that well with any of them"
I have noted you put friends in quotes, so even in print you don't regard them as true friends, more so ppl you hang with just for the sake of hanging with. Also the seem preoccupied with their own friends and are a bit 'meh' with regards to hanging out with you. . .well screw em i say.
Feck em if they're not interested. you have put time and energy into creating a fulfulling friendship and they've done nothing in return. you need someone who loves hanging out with you as much as you like chilling with them. these individuals are not your friends, however the relationship you have with them is holding you back. i advise you spend less with them and instead focus more of that time upon developing new friendships as yer social construct is a losing battle that will only hold you back as time progresses.
Friendship, like any relationship is a two way street, whereby ppl are equal - its a give and take situation. they need and want to be around you as much as you want and need to be around them.
Next, you say you left your bestest friends behind (this next point is equally harsh, so prepare yourself) . . well thats just it, they were left behind, in the past. Thats the sad thing about life. we meet and befriend wonderful ppl, but life gets in the way, and we drift apart. It happens to everyone and in your case it was not feasible to remain as close as you relocated to another country. but, you can't dwell on this either. because, although it is sad, you can't keep recounting on it, as it is past, not future- you have to move on. It is painful to think about, and your friends probably remember you with fond memories too, but they have also moved on with their lives.
The same advice goes for the individuals you fought with in secondary school.You cannot keep recounting it as it will drive you bananas. Fair enough, you are entitled to the infrequently occuring pained memory, but remember what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and consequently you are a tougher person (although you may not realise it!
) because of it.
Now, how to move onwards with your life. I suggest joining a social networking site, like facebook, to get back in contact with your friends from when you were younger. Who knows you might meet up again, but don't be too disheartened if you don't.
Next, you say you're in college - Are you a final year student, or have you more years left? If you have more years left, i suggest that you join any one of the clubs or societies on offer to you. . .there should be something thats piques your interest be it music or a sport.
If you are finished college, seek further employment. Many jobs have active social scenes, as ppl become more familiar with one another and work better as a team, be they in a shop,school or office.
Or alternatively join a club, i.e drama, bookclub, samartians or debating, in the local community. Don't put it off. . .if you are busy, MAKE TIME
for these commitments, as an active mind is a happy mind.
If you seek any more advice, I'd be more than happy to respond
Apologies for the essay (and the tough love advice
Update us on your progress
Best of luck and chin up